For those of us who aren’t as well-versed in the tradition of the Kentucky Derby, these are the things we know: It’s a horse race, there is a LOT of “old money” involved, there will be more ridiculous hats than the Royal Wedding, and mint juleps for all. In short, it’s everything the villain from 80’s teen movies had to define themselves. In any case, the Derby is happening this weekend at the famous Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky.
As it turns out, Kentucky isn’t just home to the most famous horse race in America, it’s also a veritable breeding ground for boy band fame. The Backstreet Boys’ Brian Littrell and Kevin Richardson (who are also cousins) as well as 98 Degrees’ Nick Lachey are all Kentucky natives. With all of the latest boy band nostalgia taking over — The Backstreet Boys summer tour, the Nick & Knight Tour, the New Kids on the Block reality show — we felt it was just the right time to let these Kentuckians shine.
So here’s our ode to the Kentucky Derby and the great state that gave us the gift of these white-suit-wearing, finger-snapping, synchronized-crooning boy band stars. Thank you Kentucky, thank you Derby, and thank you cheesy pop for making every day just a little more divine.
"The Hardest Thing (For a Jockey)"
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I have to ride you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to neigh
I can't let you see
That I’m not your first jockey
"Because of Mint Juleps"
You're my boozey mint after the rain
You're the cure against my fear and my pain
'Cause I'm losing my oversized hat when you're not around
It's all (It's all)
It's all because of rum
Mount your saddle, yeah
Feet in stirrups right
Derby’s back, alright!
Oh my God, we're back again
Horses, Jockeys, everybody sing
Gonna race the track, show you how
Gotta question for you better answer now, yeah
Is my name original?
Am I the fastest one?
Am I sexual?
Am I about to take the lead?
You better rock it, Jockey now!
"The Call...to Buy a Hat"
Let me tell you the story about the hat that changed my destiny
Me and my girls went out, just to end up in catastrophe
I was about to go home and there it was standing in front of me
Said 'Hi, I got a little price tag on the side
Wanna go?', I should have said 'No'
My paycheck’s not ready for that
But I grabbed my card out and said
Listen wallet I'm sorry
Just wanna tell you don't worry
I’m buying this hat don't judge me it’s the Derby
I'll eat Ramen again you're getting swiped out my cash flow is low
So you know we're goin' to put this on credit
I gotta go!