In the first decade of the 21st century, nothing was off-limits. It was the age of pseudo punk-rock filled with spiked hair and spiky bracelets from Hot Topic, "scandalous" pop and hip-hop coated in halter crop tops, and lots of eyeliner. There was so much eyeliner.
For many of us, the music of the early 2000s paved the way for our very mature existence. We were sensually shaped by Britney Spears’ sophomore album, Gwen Stefani’s slow-but-sure drift away from No Doubt, and all the bands that made moving to Southern California seem dreamy — and absolutely necessary. We wore knee socks and Vans. We sang along in our parent's cars.
We know you were a different person back then, but that doesn’t mean your inner 2000s diva ever really left. Somewhere, buried way, way deep, is the angsty you who used to slam doors, sneak tube-tops to change into at school, and fantasize about growing up. Here are 18 songs from the 2000s that probably spoke to you and what they say about you:
“Oops!...I Did it Again” by Britney Spears
When you were in
elementary school, you knew the dance to this song by heart. You also knew the
“dirty” version that involved replacing “did it” with “farted,” and you pretended
it was hilarious even though deep in your heart you resented everyone for
making fun of your girl. Even though Britney Spears has produced what is
essentially garbage these last few years, you still have faith in her comeback, because it’s Britney, bitch.
“I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness
When your crush
acknowledged your presence in middle school by asking you what the homework was
in math class, you came home and immediately jumped up and down on your twin bed. You have a thing for emotional guys who are open to nail polish.
“Float On” by Modest Mouse
This was probably
the first Modest Mouse song you heard, and when you did, you decided it
described your life perfectly. Like, shit happens and you just gotta go with
it, man. I mean, c’est la vie and whatever. You use the term “don’t sweat it”
a lot and don’t think it’s a big deal to wear pajamas to the grocery store.
What? It’s comfortable.
“Swing Swing” by The All-American Rejects
All you ever wanted
was an iPod Nano and a skater boyfriend. But you got neither, since your
parents bought you the generic mp3 player for Christmas, and sk8ers generally
don't date girls who take piano lessons three times a week. Discouraged you
were not; movies like She's All That and
Never Been Kissed proved that all you
needed was time and a hair straightener to win over the love of your life.
“It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy
You learned so many
valuable things from this song, like how not to get caught cheating (don’t have
sex on bathroom floors!). Whenever someone accuses you of anything, you
motto is “deny deny deny,” because that’s what true playas do.
“Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield
You used to watch The Hills, and you
still follow Lauren Conrad’s Instagram because it’s the very definition of
perfect. You can pull off bright, light pink lipstick. You either live in Southern California, or
dream of moving to Southern California. You are happily married to the
“Hey Baby” by No Doubt
You’ve always been “one of the guys.” You are naturally beautiful, but it took you years to start wearing makeup. We want to hate you, but we love you.
“Hit 'em up Style” by Blu Cantrell
Whenever you hear
about women burning their cheating ex’s houses down, you don’t find anything
alarming about it. Your dating profile probably contains the sentence, “I
don’t trust easily, but when I do, I trust you forever.” You also like a catchy chorus.
“A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton
You're a hopeless romantic, especially if we're talking unrequited love. You're close with your mom, and you tell her everything about your life:
who you’re having sex with, whether Gap is having a sale, or if Jay Z really
did cheat on Beyoncé (never!). Your idea of the perfect night in is a hot bubble
bath surrounded by vanilla candles and Grey’s Anatomy.
“Yellow” by Coldplay
You love nature and
Lululemon, and claim yerba mate tea does more for you than Starbucks. Whenever you post pictures on Instagram, you always include the
hashtag #blessed, because well, you are! Your Facebook profile picture is of
you at the beach, either rocking the Tree Pose or holding your small dog
named Acai Berry.
“Without Me” by Eminem
In the early 2000s,
you wore a lot of tight jeans without pockets. Really,
you listened to rap because you were told not to listen to rap, but it actually
made you a more politically consciousness person. You have a thing for bad boys.
“London Bridge” by Fergie
grade, you and your girls got slizzard by stealing your parent’s tequila and
making nasty diet Sunkist dranks in your room. Your response to anything
slightly out of the ordinary was “OHH SNAP” (snarky hand gesture included) and
most of your jeans were bedazzled on the butt. Now you relive those times in
Vegas, where you and your ladies take over Caesar’s Palace in gold wedges and
“Heartbeats” by The Knife
You wore your
metallic American Apparel skirts every weekend and hosted dance parties at your
parent’s when they were out of town. You attend EDC every year still, even
though you have a Big Girl Job (and refer it as such). When you go out with
your friends, you order all the fun strawberry basil drinks because you like to
“Get Over It” by Ok Go
You watched VH1 religiously once MTV got hijacked by Pimp
My Ride and Jersey Shore. You
fantasized about starting your own rock band, but the closest you ever got to
that was owning a pair of black Dickies and guitar pick earrings. Now you
probably write for Pitchfork and
angrily flip off tweens who worship Justin Bieber (aka a plague upon this
“Blueside” by Rooney
You only watched The Princess Diaries for Robert
Schwartzman’s beautiful, pouty face and immaculately shaggy brown hair. You
wished you were a teenager in the '70s just so that you could date a guy who
looked hot in bell-bottoms. You were always cool. You smoke weed.
“Caring Is Creepy” by The Shins
You have a habit of being the Natalie Portman in the lives of all those
wandering Zach Braffs. You have at least three tea kettles, and you can pull off braids better than a third grader
in Catholic school. In college, you taught yourself the ukulele and how to
speak Portuguese, just because.
“Last Resort” by Papa Roach
You fought with
your parents at Hot Topic when they wouldn’t buy you that spikey belt or "Down
With Whitey" T-shirt. You considered your life pretty tortured, especially when
you were grounded or when you didn’t have enough allowance money for a Cinnabon
at the mall. These days, you can be found binging
on True Blood.
“Baby If You Give It To Me” by Busta Rhymes
“Sexy” to you is
singing in a breathy Mariah Carey voice and referring to your SO as “Baby” or
“Boo.” You lived for the eighth-grade dance, a venue that supported
your infinite love of metallic blue eye shadow and bubblegum lip gloss. Those
were the days.