'Big Brother': One Houseguest Leaves, But Another Will Return

The 3 A.M. Alliance (Amanda, Aaryn, Andy and McCrae—but mostly just Amanda) remains more powerful than their terrible name entitles them to be. Amanda couldn't win a competition called "Please, Whatever You Do, Don't Win This Competition," but her cronies nevertheless engineered both of tonight's nominations: Spencer and Helen. If you're still asking yourself over and over again—as I have been—why Aaryn didn't backdoor Amanda in Elissa's place, stop. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Let it go. This too shall pass.

As always, it's clear that perma-pawn Spencer is only there to keep the nominee couch warm for the real target. Helen, lost in the special state of delusion that facing elimination on a reality show forces upon you, makes tearful, last-ditch attempts to curry favor with GinaMarie and McCrae.

Who knows? Maybe she's onto something here. McCrae might extricate himself from his emotional Human Centipede of a showmance with Amanda. GinaMarie could reveal that she's actually an actress going gung-ho method for a role, like a more racist version of Joaquin Phoenix in I'm Still Here.

Unfortunately, neither of these things happens, because this is reality—or at least reality television. Helen is evicted, 4-1. Everyone except Elissa (Mom Squad forever) casts a vote against her. Et tu, Andy?

Honestly, I don't know who I'm expected to root for anymore. With the exception of Jeremy—let's take a moment to reflect on how lucky we are that Captain Dirtball didn't become a part of the Jury—every BB15 houseguest who's made offensive comments is still in the running: Aaryn, GinaMarie, Amanda and Spencer. That leaves... Andy and Elissa?

Speaking of Elissa, I stumbled on a fun Slater-Kim bromance fact. In her official CBS biography from before the season began, Helen explained that "drama queen Rachel"—that is, Elissa's sister and BB13 winner Rachel Reilly—was her least favorite Big Brother contestant: "I had a hard time watching her whine week to week. She has serious issues." Bet she never expected that her closest ally in the house would share 50% of that drama queen DNA.

Okay, tangent over. This is an elegy for Helen. Smart Helen, sweet Helen, stylish Helen. The face that launched a thousand power moves. You will be missed.

But. But but but. It's not over just yet. Chenbot tells Helen that she—along with her fellow Jurors Judd, Candice and Jessie—will have a shot to reenter the Big Brother house. Aww yiss.

A competition called "Off the Wall" will decide both next week's HoH and which evicted contestant will be invited back into the house. As they balance on moving platforms, the houseguests are pelted with an onslaught of balls—the first to catch ten will be named Head of Household. Should that person be a member of the Jury, he or she will earn a second chance in the house and win HoH. Smart move by the producers—it's hard to imagine that a returning Juror could survive the week without immunity.

Of course, this contest is way too compelling to wrap up in one episode, so we'll have to wait until Sunday for the results. Who ya got?

Image via CBS