Words cannot describe how painful a breakup can feel. A broken heart leaves you more than just broken. It’s traumatic, heart-wrenching, and the pain feels unbearable at times.
But somehow, through all of this turmoil, people survive and come out stronger. How do they do this? When you’re in the midst of despair, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the broken-hearted tunnel. But with loving support from your friends and family, and the right tools, you can start to rebuild yourself and your heart.
Man, were The Beatles right when they said “I get by with a little help from my friends.” This is the time when you’re going to need your friends the most. Reach out to them for support, even if it’s hard. You’re going to want them to pull you up when you feel like you’re drowning. They are by your side for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And this for sure feels like the ugliest time in your life.
There’s nothing more helpful than reading. This could mean reading a novel to distract you while the pain is too much to bear. Or, it could mean going to the self-help section of the bookstore and buying a million “how-to” books on surviving a breakup. Girl, there is no shame in doing this. Not only are self-help books a good distraction, but they also bring more awareness into your current situation, while offering great tools to move forward.
Someone Who Has Been There
When you’re in the depths of despair, it’s important to have a person in your life who has been through the same thing, and come out stronger. This could be a best friend, a colleague, or your mother. Hearing from another person that you can get through this is sometimes all you need.
Think about it in terms of recovery. When people are recovering from an alcohol or drug addiction, it is vital for them to hear stories from other people, in recovery, on how they became sober and stayed sober. You are in the beginning stages of recovery and need that wise sponsor.
A wo(man)’s best friend is helpful during this crucial time. Your pet dog or cat doesn’t care how much you cry. He or she won’t be judging you when you haven’t gotten out of bed in three days. Your pet will always be there for you, cuddles and all. Snuggle up and allow some smooches from your furry friend to help make you feel better.
Waterproof Mascara and Kleenex
You know that classic scene from “The Hills” where Lauren Conrad cries a black tear — you don’t want to be that girl. Yes, it’s your breakup and you can cry if you want to. But, with waterproof mascara, the whole world won’t have to know everything. With waterproof mascara and boxes of kleenex, you can cry without all of that messy “backlash.”
Dealing with a heartbreak can feel more painful than any physical pain you’ve ever experienced. You literally feel as if your heart hurts. It’s important to feel this, instead of pushing your emotions away.
However, sometimes it hurts too much and feels unbearable. This is when you need to take breaks from this sadness and distract yourself. Say hello to trashy reality television. This will be your best friend. Reality TV is perfect to just zone out and distract yourself from time to time. Let the Kardashians or the Real Housewives ease your pain.
There’s nothing like a good song to get you through a broken heart. You’re going to need all your ladies there by your side — Beyoncé, Adele, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, and angry Alanis Morissette. Make different playlists: One for when you want to cry and mourn the relationship, one for those empowering moments you know you’ll need, and finally, an angry playlist so that you can scream at the top of your lungs.
During the initial stage of breakup, allow yourself to lie in bed and cry. Soon enough, you’ll be ready to leave those unwashed sheets and get out into the world. However, this can be harder than you think. Start by moving a little bit every day. Walk around your place, then move to walking around your neighborhood. After that, try exercising for a day and see how it makes you feel. The more endorphins, the better.
Even though you have your family and friends to lean on, it’s also nice to have a space for yourself to make sense of everything. This is where therapy comes into play. Having a professional and unbiased person to talk to can help you immensely.
You need to be able to say everything you’re truly feeling, without judgement. And don’t be embarrassed about seeking help. Trust me, your friends, your neighbors, and probably even your dentist are seeing a therapist as well.
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