Life

Match.com's Users Apparently Really Love Zumba

During the month of December, pretty much every website on the Internet comes up with at least one nostalgic, “let’s look back at 2014 in an amusing and possibly telling fashion” post; online dating site Match.com is no different. In its just-released “Year in Review” report, Match detailed some of the most commonly-used words in its members profiles, and, well… honestly, I had no idea people were that interested in Zumba. For real.

You can see the results in a handy-dandy infographic over at the New York Daily News , but for the curious, here are some highlights:

  • “Travel” appeared 1,005,346 times across all Match.com profiles.
  • “Down to earth” showed up 232,348 times.
  • “Selfie” was mentioned in 5,613 profiles.
  • Frozen was identified as 5,501 people's favorite movie.
  • “Zumba” was one of the most common words used in profiles, along with “Electrician,” “Welcoming,” “Warmhearted,” “Crochet,” and “Cosmetology.”
  • The most hashtags used in a single profile clocked in at a whopping 44.

So… yeah. Do with all that what you will. Jezebel’s take on it was to offer a selection of conversational topics worth talking about more than Zumba; these include your favorite books and theories about what Pat Sajak has been up to lately. Because seriously: What is his deal? He's been kind of...

Yeah. That.

I, on the other hand, started to wonder what kind of person the typical Match.com user is based on these stats. The picture in my head looks a little something like this:

  • They’re in their early 20s and either still in school or recently graduated.
  • They consider themselves welcoming and warmhearted, so hopefully they’re not jerks.
  • At least one of their profile pictures is a selfie taken in front of a major tourist landmark.
  • At least one of their profile pictures is a selfie featuring themselves in their pajamas and captioned with “Just at home, watching some Netflix” (because, y’know, they’re so down to earth and all). Bonus points if, instead of Netflix, they’re specifically watching Frozen.
  • “Selfie” is their favorite song; they may or may not like it ironically. Similarly, they were devastated when Selfie was canceled.
  • Their day job is electrician, although they also secretly aspire to study the fine art of cosmetology and become a makeup artist or hair stylist. Also, they crochet gorgeous blankets in their spare time.
  • #Theyuseatleastthreehashtags #Bonuspointsifoneofthemis “#Blessed.”
  • They’re big fans of Zumba. Either that, or they still can’t get over the Alexis Wright case from 2013.

I don’t know about you, but I suspect I probably wouldn’t be able to stand being around this imaginary person for more than five minutes at a time. I mean, I realize I'm somewhat curmudgeonly and I hate people in general... but it’s a good thing most people are more than the sum of their parts, right? Let this be a lesson to us all: Never underestimate the importance of the contents of your online dating profile.

Images: Edson Hong/Flickr; Giphy