Remember those few months in 2003 when Five For Fighting's "A Hundred Years" came on the radio so often it made moms cry and men everywhere feel deeply inadequate about their falsetto? The truth is, they should have written a song called "Seventy-Nine-ish Years", because that is the actual average lifespan of a human. If that seems a little too hard to put in perspective, we now have a video showing how much of your life you waste in jellybeans—28,835 jelly beans, to be exact, which is approximately how many days you will exist on this Earth. For me, that means I have only fifty some more years of aggressively retweeting Anna Kendrick, so MAKE IT COUNT, everyone.
Right off the bat, the video shows you how much of your life has already gone by, and there's no soft lilting falsetto to cushion this jellybean blow. Assuming you're at least 17 years old, they shove what looks like a bajillion jellybeans out of the way, which marks the first time candy has ever betrayed me and resulted in an existential crisis. They then go on to catalogue the jellybeans/days of your life that you waste on certain things.
The first culprit? The opening sequence to Orange is the New Black. God only knows how much of our lives Regina Spektor has stolen from us. Actually, the jellybeans know, too:
There are plenty of other examples in the video, like the number of days you spend snoozing (8,000 jellybeans!), the time you spend going to the gym, or the time you spend letting haters get to you. Overall, though, it is a lighthearted and fun way of looking at our mortality and encourages you to live in the moment instead of getting the sads when you remember that at some point this planet and all of its inhabitants will eventually get sucked up by the sun (too dark?).
I would also like to take this opportunity to get really meta and ask how many jellybean days you waste eating jellybeans, but even typing that sentence made my brain hurt. Here's the video: