Oh, chocolate. You're always there for us, and our appreciation for you knows no bounds. Unlike wine, you're available pretty much everywhere — from CVS, to Starbucks, to our Christmas stocking that hasn't made its way to the attic yet (check for it! It's probably lodged in the toe). And Valentine's Day chocolate is something we can all universally celebrate, whether we're coupled up or not.
Chocolate, just like your high school ex-boyfriend, is constantly misunderstood. Will it make you fat, or will it empower your heart? Will putting it all over your skin actually help you to achieve a healthy glow, or will it result in a sticky and upsetting tub mess? While studies come out constantly about the health benefits of chocolate, one thing will never change — it sure helps even out our mood. And it sure tastes delicious. People who don't like chocolate are just like people who don't like pizza — few and far between. And probably not worth being friends with.
This Valentine's Day, we're bound to see a lot of our favorite "what's inside?" chocolate mysteries packed in those shiny heart-shaped containers, meant to be given as gifts. In fact, it's kind of the standard for the holiday. It happens every year, and is usually accompanied by grocery store flowers and cards featuring Snoopy. If you find yourself solo once again this year, or happened to break things off right before this famous holiday of love, fear not: Chocolate will step in and be your boyfriend this year. Go ahead and gift yourself a heart-shaped tin of those bad boys.
In fact, here's why chocolate is actually even better than having a date this Valentine's Day.
1. You don't need to make reservations with chocolate
You don't have to worry about booking a fancy reservation to your mall's TGI Fridays this year, since chocolate will be happy to celebrate with you wherever you want. Plan on sitting on the couch this holiday? Perfect! Chocolate loves the couch, if that's what makes you happy.
2. Chocolate offers more surprises than a Valentine's Day date
You know exactly what to expect every time this holiday comes around. Usually your significant other will dress up solely since it'll make you happy, and sign a card with an emotional message like "You're great," or "Will you be my Valentine?" or "Have a nice Valentine's Day, see you later." With chocolate, it's something new every time. Will you bite into a caramel center or one of those strawberry fluff dealies? If you get shocked with coconut, you have plenty of chances to make up for your initial disappointment.
3. Chocolate can help you stay healthy
According to Women's Health Magazine, dark chocolate lessens cravings for foods that are high in salt, sweetness, and fat. That means that after a night in with some chocolates by your side, you might not be rushing to check out those new Taco Bell Breakfast Crunchwraps first thing in the morning.
4. Chocolate won't leave you disappointed
You don't need to put too much brainpower toward chocolate. Instead of fretting about why he didn't propose yet (since he totally hinted that he would, right?), you only need to fret about whether or not you have enough chocolate for the remainder of the week. Isn't it nice to celebrate the day without weird expectations?
5. You don't need to dress up for chocolate
Chocolate likes you in those old sweatpants from Hollister that you bought seven years ago. Sure, it's fun to look fancy, but admit it: Valentine's Day is just another day, and you worked really hard and dressed up super nice all week at work. It's time to be comfortable. It's time to kick back with some double chocolate cupcakes. It's time to savor the moment!
6. Chocolate has no sexy expectations
I once had the realization that I knew a lot of people who were born in mid-November. Doing the mental math in my head, I realized — these were all Valentine's Day babies! Gross. Listen, I'm not the world's biggest prude, but Valentine's Day usually has expectations if you're in a committed relationship. It's nice if you're actually in the mood, but if you're not? There's no pressure to get busy.
7. When you're alone with chocolate, you'll be even more inspired to watch the worst Netflix movies
And by worst I mean secretly the best. Catch up on all of those terrible rom-coms that you'd never spend money to see in the theaters. That, or you can continue marathoning Friends with no need to pause for any breaks. Who needs a guy when you have Chandler? In fact, who needs anything else when you can enjoy Chandler quips with chocolate?
8. Chocolate won't be a big financial setback
Nor will it argue back with you about how to split a check. Chocolate is cheap. A night out in a romantic atmosphere? Not so much. "I should just treat myself," you'll say to yourself while being surrounded by tiny appetizers that cost a fortune. Why waste the money on something that's a little too fancy for your taste, when you can just buy a Hershey bar and feel the joy?
If you're saving for something big, this is the perfect holiday to cut back on. I mean, it's not like you're not celebrating. You're just celebrating by yourself.
9. Chocolate doesn't just choose one day to show appreciation
Chocolate doesn't need a day to prove how much it cares for you. Chocolate is amazing and delicious year-round! Chocolate makes its presence known during pretty much every holiday ever, and will never fail to cheer you up when you're feeling a little blue. A boyfriend, however, might make you feel guilty about that two-day pile of dishes you have in the sink. You'll get to it, eventually. Probably when you run out of chocolate.
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