It's nice to know that even grown-ups can't keep a straight face when talking about nipple clamps. Case in point, Jimmy Fallon and Jamie Dornan read excerpts from Fifty Shades of Grey in accents on The Tonight Show Monday night, which gave my immature soul a little reason to chuckle. Given that you're a person, you probably know that the Fifty Shades of Grey movie is coming out this weekend on Valentine's Day (ONLY THREE MORE DAYS TO BOOK YOUR RED ROOM OF PAIN HOTEL PACKAGES, PEOPLE!!!). Dornan stopped by Fallon's show to pretend to be excited about the film's release, and Fallon had a fun activity called "Fifty Shades of Accents" to make things a little easier for him.
Using a patented "accent randomizer," Jamie Dornan and Jimmy Fallon took turns reading passages from E.L. James' novel in French, County Cork Irish, and Italian accents, among others. Dornan transforms what is intended to be a coy line about nipple clamps into a grave question with the help of a Scottish accent. Fallon delivers a line about "hot fudge brownie sex" in a hilarious Russian growl. This whole ritual needs to be turned into a parlor game, like NOW.
This really takes me back to my 8th grade days of reading erotic fiction aloud with my friends in Barnes & Noble, laughing to the point of nearly urinating in my pants (don't pretend like you didn't do this too). There's something about hearing Fallon and Dornan talk about baby oil like Mario and twisted panties like Pepe LePew that makes me long for my youth. Not to mention, it highlights the fact that this book is the DREAM novel for punk kid 14-year-olds like my former self to giggle over at slumber parties. Ah, literature!