I am, for the most part, a good person. If you put your blinker on, I will gently brake and let you in. If you are moving to an apartment across the city, I am yours for three whole hours so long as someone feeds me something (preferably pizza). If I am in an especially "the world is great and so are the humans living in it" kind of mood, then I will not only bake, but share my creations with other members of my species. I am a non-confrontational, easy-to-please, typical nice girl, through and through. The reason I am telling you this is so that you know something important: Being that I am so nice, if you do, somehow, piss me off, you have clearly done something very, very wrong.
While I will admit that I am occasionally quick to frazzle, I very rarely get truly up in arms about stuff outside of the semi-privacy of my own Tumblr page. The few times I have lost my chill in public, nobody has seen it coming, least of all me. But occasionally life (and by "life" I mean "assholes") will throw things at you that you just can't get over by walking a few blocks with "Shake It Off" on repeat. Here are situations that even the nicest of humans will certifiably get pissed about:
Anonymous hate on social media
Look, humans are entitled to their opinions, and I know, I know: Grow a pair, thicken your skin, etc. But I have ZERO respect for people who not only say rude things to other people on the internet, but don't even do it with their names attached. You're rude and a coward, and I know I'm whining but this is the complete worst.
Somebody you trust intentionally making you look bad to get ahead
I was born with this double-edged sword of a trait: My default is to just believe the best in people, which is why whenever someone has intentionally done me wrong, it's a huge emotional bitch slap. One time in college, I was attending a dinner with my professor and two other students. I was so nervous about because I obviously wanted to make a good impression. Everything was going well except for one thing: Every time I laughed, a (supposed) friend of mine accused me of being drunk really loudly in front of everyone at this very serious, grown-up dinner. Because I have a very loud and aggressive laugh, they all believed her. And what looks drunker than saying, "No, I'm not drunk!" over and over again?! Ugh. It's been three years and I am still full of hate. When you trust someone, they should never abuse it for their own gain.
Somebody taking a risk in traffic that could hurt other people
Last weekend, it was snowing and all the streetlights were out on a five-lane freeway near where I live, so we were all moving 40MPH, tops. It wasn't because we couldn't go faster—it's because we knew everyone around us was scared, and that even if we went faster, there was no guarantee that we'd be able to stop. And yet one out of every 20 vehicles belonged to some jackass with an SUV who weaved in and out of the traffic at top speed just to show us all up and scare the living bejeezus out of everyone they skidded past when they lost control. Go ahead and put yourself at risk if you have something you need to prove, jerkwads, but leave the rest of us alone.
Someone implying that you "wouldn't understand" something
Being "nice" does not equate to being dumb, inexperienced, or naive. I am convinced the words "you wouldn't understand" are only ever used with the intent to hurt someone's feelings. If you truly believe someone doesn't understand something, explain it to them. Help them understand. Otherwise you're just being a condescending ass.
Someone making a snap judgment about you without any knowledge of the situation
I am not even a parent and I get FURIOUS at the idea of strangers judging other people on their "parenting styles". They know nothing about that parent, that kid, or the circumstances, but they feel the ridiculous need to do things like SHOOSH OTHER PEOPLE'S BABIES ON AIRPLANES, MICKEY ROURKE. Having a kid, as far as I understand it, is incredibly challenging and complicated, and the moments you see between a parent and their kid are not necessarily indicative of...anything, really. Unless you're offering to help a parent carry a heavy stroller up some stairs, you don't need to say anything at all.
Someone forcing their opinion into an issue they do not have a stake in
Examples: Men trying to dictate women's healthcare, intolerant straight people telling gay people they can't get married. THESE THINGS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. GO AWAY. Sorry, I will try to dial back the caps lock; I have a lot of feelings. Honestly, no matter how nice you are, in any situation where somebody's opinion is not only invalid but completely unwelcome, it is cause enough to tear them a new one.
Anyone who even slightly threatens the safety of a loved one
I won't bore you with the details, but just know that someone once put my sister in a situation dangerous enough that I threatened not only to personally call their parents, but call their school, their employer, and anyone who ever tried to hire them again if they came near my sister one more time. PSA: Don't fuck with anybody who has a sister (or brother, or friend, or loved one of any kind). We'll tear your eyes out without a moment of hesitation.
People who only do favors to get something in return
I did the songwriter thing in Nashville for awhile, and learned (very quickly and awkwardly) that 80% of the time when a man "helps" you there, they expect you to do something for them the way a potty training toddler expects a cookie. Unfortunately this type of human exists everywhere. Their transgressions can be as cliché as someone expecting another person to have sex with you after buying them a few drinks, or as subtle as a friend guilt-tripping another friend over favors that you should do for each other without asking in the first place. This kind of stuff enrages nice people, aka, The Doers Of Genuine, No-Strings-Attached Favors. Drop these awful humans out of your life. They are manipulative and icky.
Someone brushing off something you are genuinely excited about and wanted to share with them
This is a feeling so sad and ancient that you probably don't even remember the first time you felt it. You were probably a baby trying to give someone a chopped up piece of your breakfast, and you were really pumped about it, only to have them quickly dismiss you, your food, and your enthusiasm. But I feel like it is the duty of humanity to indulge in other people's excitement. If not to go so far as to feign interest in the things our friends are excited about, then to at least hear them out when they talk about them. There is nothing worse than the feeling of being totally shut down by someone when you're trying to share an experience with them that is important to you. It taints the whole thing forever and makes your own love for it feel invalid, especially because the gesture of sharing it was one that came from such an innocent, well-intentioned place. As an easily excited person, I hereby decree: People who are mean to excited people suck.
Images: AMC; Giphy (6)
