Which Drake Are You?

by Kristie Rohwedder

Every person is a unique snowflake (sorry, Tyler Durden!) (On second thought, I would like to rescind that apology. I am not trying to impress the leader of Project Mayhem), but last name Graham, first name Aubrey truly is a one of a kind. Sure, most humans are complex, multifaceted creatures (I do not mean that in a “most humans are two-faced goblins” way. I mean that in a “thank goodness most humans are not boring paper dolls” way. Don't get it twisted), but the facets that make up Drake are especially brilliant. Champagne Papi, as his friend and frequent collaborator Rihanna once sang, shines bright like a diamond. A rare and priceless gem.

Drake is a hip-hop megastar. Drake is a former teen soap star. Drake is the class clown. Drake is a geek. Drake is a lover. Drake is a fighter. Drake is a fixture of an professional basketball team's arena. Drake is a loyal pal. Drake is a fan of Nutella dip sticks. Drake is he is you are we and we are all together. Drake is the walrus. Drake is the walrus. Coo coo ka choo.

Which Drake Are You?

If you identify with Aubrey-Graham-As-Jimmy-Brooks Drake...

That means: You’ve only just begun, young Padawan.

If you identify with Rapper Drake...

That means: You started from the bottom, and now you’re here. Without fail, you always come up with the best zingers.

If you identify with Shopping-For-Snacks-With-Nicki-Minaj Drake...

That means: Your philosophy with regards to snack shopping is "more is more." And you’re always down to pay. You are the best person to go to a convenience store with.

If you identify with DrakeO Malfoy Drake...

That means: You're the most popular person in Slytherin. You're the nicest mean guy. Or maybe you're the meanest nice guy?

If you identify with Bottle-Throwing Drake...

That means: If a person wrongs one of your friends, that person might as well consider him/herself your new enemy.

If you identify with Sitting-Courtside-At-A-Raptors-Game Drake

That means: You are probably rich (I mean, courtside seats are no joke). You know how to have a good time at a sporting event. If you could, you would totally go to an NBA game every night of the week.

If you identify with Neat 'n' Tidy Drake...

That means: You always keep a lint roller handy. It's probably safe to assume you have a Tide to Go stick in your bag, too.

If you identify with George Costanza Drake...

That means: The Seinfeld character is your style icon.

If you identify with Rendered-Speechless-By-Nicki-Minaj Drake:

That means: You know what is up. (Why yes, I am Rendered Speechless By Nicki Minaj Drake.)

Images: drakesothotful, keanicello, soggy, rossoverboard, strictlydricky, thefader, wordonrd, edgarwrights/tumblr