Dear cats everywhere: Who gave you the right? This was our internet. We were thoroughly enjoying it without your meddling paws. But now here we are, all these years after the internet's inception, and your adorable, ridiculous, conniving little cat selves have taken it over completely. Well, GUESS WHAT? I surrender. Here I am, the least cat-person of all cat-people, and I just rounded up all of the best cat videos of all time. I fought the good fight, and meow—no, now—it's over. R.I.P, me.
OK, OK, I don't hate famous internet cats. I watched the Grumpy Cat movie with the rest of y'all last Christmas, and I frequently laugh at the shenanigans that go down on the Cole and Marmalade YouTube channel. That being said, I don't think any of us were predicting that cats would take so effortlessly to the medium that is the internet, or that we would be so powerless to their ways. Real talk, guys: I know the names of more internet cats then I do US State senators, and I grew up approximately a rock's throw outside of DC.
Anyway, if you haven't yet given up and submitted to our cat overlords, your might as well join me. They've got good memes over here on the dark side. And, of course, enough videos to last for all nine of your lives:
1. This mommy cat hugging her kitty
It's so Simba it hurts.
2. This 007 cat stalking his owner
3. Keyboard cat
Sorry not sorry, but I can't make a compilation and not put this on there. Have some fun nostalgia feels.
4. ~Dramatic Cat~
The cat who launched a thousand memes.
5. OMG Cat
Oh NO SHE DID NOT NO SHE DIDN'T (OMG).
6. This barking cat who starts meowing as soon as a human shows up
Further reinforcing my belief that all cats are adorable LIARS.
7. These cats playing patty-cake
And yet there is very little cake being baked. Harrumph.
8. Sad Cat Diary
I can't listen to this without becoming a shell of a human. It's too real.
9. This chatty kitty
At least this cat is willing to compromise with the human race.
10. The first Grumpy Cat video
The marking of a new cat era.
11. Dubstep cat
Oh, great. Even cats dance better than I do.
12. This cat who walks on two legs
CUZ THIS IS THRILLERRRRR, THRILLER NIGHT.
13. This cat jump fail set to AWOLNation's "Sail"
(Don't worry, the cat was totally fine in real life, so we're allowed to laugh.)
14. This cat who soothed a crying baby
Sleep, human. Sleep.
15. This cat who loudly protests his bath
If you don't think cats speak and understand English, think again.
16. The cutest kitty ever falling asleep
Bawww. OK. Cats aren't so bad.