It's not that I'm scared of cats; in fact, I currently live with two cats and we bond by sitting in close proximity to one another and binge-watching Pretty Little Liars. Like, whatever, it's chill, but... it's just that I do not find cats trustworthy. They're a little sneaky and a little spooky — and my suspicions have all been justified by feline YouTube stars Cole and Marmalade, who recently drew my attention to some very important signs that cats are plotting world domination. I'm serious, guys. They were caught on camera doing it. The end is definitely nigh.
Honestly, Cole and Marmalade have only themselves to blame for being outed as evil feline masterminds. They've previously demonstrated their ability to enforce every cat stereotype you love to hate in such videos as "Cat Logic," "Trying to Eat Around a Cat," and "How Cats Say 'I Love You.'" It's like, guys, helloooo, we're onto you!
Having given their owner, Chris Poole, nine signs that they are plotting world domination, Cole and Marmalade are, in my opinion, particularly sneaky little cats. Perhaps not every cat is plotting world domination; some may be aiming a bit lower, like maybe dominating the local municipality or wherever all the birds live. However, for those of us with even just one cat, let alone two, I think we can all agree we've seen at least a few of these signs. Scroll down to watch the full video.
1. When you enter the room and they stop talking and begin to "play."
Cats do not play. That's far too frivolous and a complete waste of cat time, even though they have a bunch of extra lives. They've got things to DO, people!
2. They watch you all the time, working out your weaknesses.
Maybe that's why constantly try to post up in the bathroom while I'm trying to make myself look like a real human in the mornings...
3. They whisper secret messages to each other.
My cats are biological brothers, so probably half the messages are just like, "You're a dumb idiot" — but a few of them I'm sure are of real importance.
4. You see them drawing maps in their catnip.
I always said they seemed to know what we were saying, so it only make sense that they are also literate.
5. Newspapers start getting delivered to your door.
And I thought they liked to sit on them just to be annoying assholes! Ugh, I am so naive.
6. They spend hours staring into the distance
Like, yeah, dude. I'm a believer now. A cat truther, 100 percent..
Check out the full video below for more supicious signs: