Guys! It happened! I'm finally dating a grown-ass man! (I know, I'm sorry. I kind of hate me for writing that too.)
While I'm somewhat hesitant to use the phrase "grown-ass man" in the first place (I don't want to shame anyone here, after all) there's no denying that there is a real difference between dating a man who has his sh*t together — and one who doesn't. Interestingly, for me, that difference was most apparent when I stepped into my grown-ass man's apartment for the first time. I felt, immediately, at ease. What was this strange feeling? This peculiar thing you call comfort? I sensed, for the first time maybe ever, that I would not want to take a shower when I got home from this guy's apartment. In fact, his place even made my place look like a dump.
Since I started staying at his apartment, I pretty much never left. We officially moved in together after an eyebrow-raisingly short amount of time, but hey, when a grown-ass man tells you he wants to open his home and heart to you, it can be pretty appealing.
And while his apartment isn't even the most mature thing about him, it is a pretty clear reflection of the ways in which he's grown. Here are 21 things that I've come to believe every grown-ass man (and woman, for that matter) has in their apartment.
I dated someone without goddamn curtains for way too long. A grown-ass man has curtains on his windows. Period.
2. A Vacuum
Maybe it's just a mini vac (acceptable only if he has wooden floors and a Swiffer) but either way, a grown-ass man has a vacuum, and he uses it.
3. Spare Sponges
They are under the sink, and if he's really grown, he keeps spares of the scratchy Brillo kind and those reusable towels, too.
4. At Least One Full Bookshelf
Maybe he has a Kindle, but a grown-ass man has at least one shelf worth of books, unless he recently returned from living abroad.
5. Plenty Of Cleaning Solution
He's got the green kind for the kitchen, and maybe something with bleach for the shower. He uses them regularly, or hires someone to clean for him. Either way, the supplies are always well-stocked.
I didn't even have coasters, but this grown-ass man did. If he has coasters, it means he has furniture he cares enough about to protect.
7. Facial Lotion
You don't have to tell a grown-ass man why skincare or moisturizing is important.
Again, you don't have to explain why guys should also use conditioner.
9. Good Pots And Pans
Because he cooks. For you.
10. A Nice Set Of Knives
Or at least one nice knife. Again, because he's busy chopping up onions for you.
11. A Nice Garlic Press/Set Of Chopsticks/Cheese Slicer Etc.
There are specialty utensils in his drawer, if you catch my drift.
12. Framed Pieces Of Artwork
Don't trust dudes with nothing on the walls. It's not a good sign when someone doesn't have at least a few things that mean something to them on their walls. My guy doesn't like much, but what he does have is nice, and framed.
13. An Unopened Bottle Of Wine
He thinks ahead.
14. Wine Glasses To Drink Said Wine In
Extra points for both red and white glasses.
15. Good Speakers
And he knows what to play out of them.
16. Condoms And Lube
My man even had a dental dam he was keeping just in case, which I found amusing.
17. At Least One Spare, Unstained Set Of Sheets
He also washes them regularly.
18. At Least One Surface You Could Sit (Or Do Other Stuff) On For Hours
It sounds basic, but you'd be amazed how many other dude's couches have made me want to take a shower.
19. A Matching Set Of Dishes
When I saw he had Fiestaware, I might have gotten a little wet.
20. A Classy Way To Make Coffee
My grown-ass man doesn't even drink coffee anymore, but he has an espresso machine and a french press for guests. He won me over early by making me morning lattes.
21. A Vase
Sure, he didn't use it until I brought him flowers, but it was there, waiting on an upper shelf. That's some grown sh*t.
Extra-Special Bonus Points For:
A Spare Tooth Brush
He has guests. Hopefully, not too many guests, but guests nonetheless.
Candles And/Or Massage Oil
He appreciates lighting and massage.
Feminine Hygiene Products
This one was weird when I found them, at first. But he made the point that he thought he should keep the supplies his ex left around in case the next woman he was with needed some. Kind of thoughtful, in that makes-you-jealous-but-also-excited sort of way.
Room For You
I saved the most important one for last. None of these things really matter in the long-run unless he has room in his space for you — emotionally and otherwise. Does he clear out a drawer for you once you start staying over? Does he inquire as to what would make you even more comfortable in his space? In other words, does he make room in his awesome place for you? It doesn't really matter how nice his apartmet is unless he wants to make sure you're comfortable in it.
Images: Focus Features; Giphy