For reasons that defy logic, I check my horoscope every day. Every so often, it’s eerily accurate, yet other times the forecast is so far away from my reality that I’d swear someone mixed up the astrological signs. But since Libras like me tend to be a bit absent-minded at times, it’s possible I was unknowingly reading the wrong sign. But if you're a Christina Aguilera fan, you'll be happy to know that my weekly horoscope mentioned that I would be involved in a humanitarian endeavor, and it was right. I’m about to bless diehard Xtina fans all over the world with something they didn’t even realize they needed: a guide to Christina Aguilera songs that pair perfectly with your astrological sign.
My horoscope also warned me that I’d bite off more than I could chew in the near future, and once again, it did not tell a lie because let me tell you guys – compiling this astrological guide based on Xtina songs nearly drove me insane, and it had absolutely nothing to do with a full moon. Craziness aside, this was a great excuse to continue poring over her music, while officially certifying myself as a Christina Aguilera Horoscope Expert. Pretty sure I’m the only person with that title…
Ah well, if you buy into horoscopes, this should be a thrilling discovery. If not, humor me anyway and check out what Xtina song you are, based on your sign.
Aries: "Keeps Getting Better"
Typical Aries: You guys always insists on leading, which means you're totally on board with Xtina singing "Shut up/I don't care what you say/'Cause when we're both in the wind/You're gonna like it my way." Am I right? Does it matter? Probably not.
Taurus: "Come on Over (All I Want is You)"
If you're a persistent Taurus, then you're definitely the type to tell a guy to "Come on over, baby," until he obliges.
Gemini: "What A Girl Wants"
If you're a Gemini, it's perfectly OK to admit that it's all about what you need, and that's to be the center of attention.
Cancer: "I Turn To You"
No shade, Cancers, but y'all tend to be a bit clingy.
Because Leos are fiercely protective of themselves and their pride.
Virgo: "Ain't No Other Man"
For Virgos, it's loyalty over everything.
Libra: "Can't Hold Us Down"
Unfairness on a Libra's watch just won't cut it, which is why they're totally into this song's feminist message.
Scorpio: "I Hate Boys"
Clearly, this song was written for someone familiar with the bitter, vengeful wrath of a Scorpio.
Sagittarius: "Not Myself Tonight"
Since Sagittarians are known as the life of the party and that also happens to be Xtina's sign, I'm not exactly buying into her whole "Not Myself Tonight," schtick. The line, "I'm dancing a lot and I'm taking shots and I'm feeling fine" exposes the true Sag nature.
Much credit to Bustle writer Emily Lackey for calling my attention to the fact that "Reflection" is a song about determination, which is a common Capricorn trait.
Ah, the detached Aquarius. A frustrated Xtina laments about not being able to connect with her lover. You, on the other hand, listen to this song in shrouded glee because she sang an entire song about you.
You're unrivaled empathy helps you acknowledge and feel the pain of others, so the lyrics of Xtina's "Beautiful" resonate deeply with you.
All signs: Love Christina. Because she is queen.
Images: Giphy (12)