Taylor Swift & Uzo Abuda Are Friends, Which Makes Sense Since Tay Would Totally Fit In On 'Orange Is The New Black'
If you've been keeping track of Taylor Swift's ever-growing circle of friends, it's time to update the list: at the July 11 stop on the singer's 1989 World Tour, Swift invited Uzo Aduba to the stage during the performance of "Style." The Orange Is the New Black star, alongside Karlie Kloss, Lily Aldridge, and a host of other supermodels, joined the singer just for the one song, but the appearance was definitely memorable for the fact that until now, no one knew Swift was even a fan of the series. It definitely makes sense, though; why wouldn't Swift be drawn to a show about women, friendship, and cooking classes by a legendary chef?
Seeing Aduba show support for Swift's concert tour makes me wonder if the singer is planning to return the favor — could Swift show up on Orange Is the New Black Season 4? It's a long shot, of course, especially if the star was planning to join as a character; even if her acting was Emmy-worthy, no one would ever be able to separate her performance from her real life persona. Yet she could join as herself (she's said that she probably wouldn't do well in prison, but this is the OITNB universe, not real life), as I'm certain she'd make a great addition to the show's ensemble. Here's how Swift would fit in to the Litchfield community:
She'd Totally Be Like Piper
Let's just get this out of the way: Swift is totally like Piper Chapman. Blonde, privileged, and in charge — the two of them have a lot in common. Piper even admitted as much herself.
She'd Be Great At Resolving Feuds
Swift used to get a bad rep for holding grudges too long, but recent events, such as when she made up with Kanye West and started dating once-frenemy Calvin Harris, have proven that she's gotten much more mature in that regard. She'd be great at helping resolve even the biggest Litchfield feuds, whether it was Sophia versus Gloria, or even Piper versus Alex.
She'd Get Cooking Lessons From Red
Viewers of OITNB Season 3 saw Red start to provide cooking lessons and fancy dinners for her friends. Swift, an avid baker, would be all over that, and you know she'd be more than happy to find veggies in the garden or steal silverware from the shelves in order to make things go as smoothly as possible.
She'd Take Soso Under Her Wing
Soso was having a hard time this past season, thanks to a lack of friends and some serious depression. She felt like she had no one to talk to, but if Swift was in Litchfield, she'd have certainly had a confidante in the singer. Even if it was crossing friend group boundaries, Taylor wouldn't be able to resist helping someone in need and providing viewers with some serious #squadgoals.
She'd Be Very Excited For Judy King To Arrive
No one would be more excited for the lifestyle guru to arrive at Litchfield than Swift, who's made her worship for people like Ina Garten very well known.
She'd Be The Group Mom
In Season 3, Taystee was stunned to realize that she was the "mother" of her friends, the one others looked to as responsible and nurturing. Swift, of course, has already earned that title, having been the key to the bonds formed between dozens of Hollywood's most famous women. She'd totally be a prison mom.
She'd Be So Into Those Acting Classes
With no way to get a guitar or a microphone, Swift would have no choice but to vent her emotions through acting — the real kind, not Crazy Eyes' weird, X-rated kind.
She'd Be The Head Of Every Plan
I'm not saying Taylor Swift is a criminal mastermind or anything, but it's pretty obvious that she gets stuff done. She's been responsible for all her own success, and her combination of ambition, determination, and intelligence would mean big things at Litchfield. Maybe she'd start a money-making scheme like Piper (hopefully a less disgusting one), or maybe she'd find a way to get real food into the kitchens; whatever the end result, it's clear that Swift would have no patience for laziness.
I know Swift's been focusing way more on her music than her acting as of late, but if she ever decides to give it another go, here's hoping that Orange Is the New Black is her first stop.
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