Chrissy Teigen Mourns “The Son We Almost Had” One Year After Her Pregnancy Loss

“They told me it would get easier but yeah, that hasn’t started yet.”

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 09:  Chrissy Teigen attends the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party ho...
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One year later, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend continue to mourn their late son Jack. Shortly after sharing photos of their three-year-old son Miles in honor of National Son’s Day on Sept. 28, the Cravings cookbook author returned to the platform to reflect on her heartbreaking pregnancy loss. “To the son we almost had,” she wrote next to an image of her crying in the hospital with her husband at her bedside. “A year ago you gave me the greatest pain I could ever imagine to show me I could survive anything, even if I didn’t want to.”

“I didn’t get to take care of you but you came and went to get me to love myself and take care of myself because our bodies are precious and life is a miracle,” she continued. “They told me it would get easier but yeah, that hasn’t started yet. mom and dad love you forever.” Teigen’s post was met with comforting words from fans and friends alike. “Love u,” Gabrielle Union wrote. “Your vulnerability and strength is admirable,” Ashley Greene added. Model Ashley Graham commended the Lip Sync Battle co-host for sharing such a “beautifully written” post.

This isn’t the first time Teigen got candid about her pregnancy loss. Earlier this month, she confessed that her body is a “daily reminder” of what should have been. “It’s really weird when you lose a baby and your body gets paused in time,” she wrote on Sept. 18 alongside a photo of her sitting in a closet. Having previously given birth to two children, Luna and Miles, the model knew what to expect when it came to breastfeeding and postpartum depression. However, pregnancy loss was something she couldn’t have prepared for.

“But man. When you lose a baby halfway through, your body just pauses,” she continued. “It has nothing to do. No one to feed. And you’re just… stuck. Stuck with saggy boobs that were prepping to be milk bags, a belly that was ready to bake. I would be lying if I said this did not majorly suck.” The 35-year-old author described the experience as “diabolically sad,” especially since you’re reminded of what you lost every time you look in the mirror. This sentiment echoed one that she shared in December.

“This is me and my body, just yesterday,” Teigen wrote alongside a photo showcasing her remaining bump. “Even though I’m no longer pregnant, every glance in the mirror reminds me of what could have been. And I have no idea why I still have this bump, honestly.” Although the bump was “frustrating,” the model said that she was “proud” of her body after everything it went through. “I love being pregnant, so so much, and I’m sad I never will be again,” she continued, adding that she’s “lucky to have two amazing little ones who are transforming into big little people more and more every single day.”

Teigen’s many pregnancy loss updates came after she penned an essay for Medium in late October. “I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life,” she wrote. “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories.”

One month later, Teigen and Legend opened up about sharing their grief on Good Morning America. “I definitely give myself permission to have complete and utter grief,” Teigen said. “Every day is so different, so when people ask me how I’m doing, I always say, ‘I’m okay, today.’” Legend added, “I didn’t know that we could experience this grief and also share it, but when we did, it really meant so much to so many people and it was such a powerful experience for me to learn that. I’m just grateful that my wife was courageous enough to do it.”