TikTok's "April Relationship Theory" Might Mean Breakups Are Brewing

There’s something about spring that makes you reevaluate everything in your life. Maybe you donate half your wardrobe, try a new hair color, and get back in touch with your goals — almost like it’s another New Year. Once March is over, it’s common to crave a fresh start.

In April, many people also take a good, hard look at their relationship. On TikTok, this feeling has been dubbed the “April Relationship Theory.” (ICYDK, TikTok loves a theory.) “It’s essentially the idea that a lot of women end relationships in the month of April,” creator @datingwithaly says in a viral clip. “Think about it. It’s spring cleaning, reset time, fresh air, sun shining, birds chirping. That kind of thing.”

As all that is happening around you, you might start to take a closer look at your partner, too. “You get out of this winter season, spring comes about, and we’re like, ‘Wait, why am I with this guy?” @datingwithaly says. “Do I really want to be with him? Have I been abandoning myself? Do I want him in this next season of my life?Do I want him to come into this next summer with me?”

Spring feels like the ideal moment to analyze what’s working for you and what isn’t. “We become different people,” she went on to say. “If you’re rethinking your relationship right now, honestly it makes a lot of sense. Maybe this is your sign to walk away.” Here’s what a relationship expert has to say.

“April Relationship Theory” Is So Real

This theory isn’t about breaking up with your partner just because the sun happens to be shining. Instead, it’s about taking stock and using the fresh energy of a new season to check back in with yourself and make sure you’re happy with all aspects of your life, including who you’re dating.

According to Lisa Chen, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, it feels good to lean into this energy because spring creates contrast. “As the season changes, people naturally begin to assess what's been weighing them down, what's been working, and this often includes relationships,” she tells Bustle.

If you were hunkered down with your partner all winter long, it’s possible you fell into a groove and are only just starting to realize that you’re unhappy. “In the spring season, there's energy and light,” Chen says. “If your relationship has been stagnant, it becomes harder to ignore.”

In the same way you analyze the clothing in your closet to see what still fits, you can do the same for love life. It might be a time to cut off a situationship or take a break from the apps. If you’ve been with a partner long-term, April also feels the best time to cope with the sadness of a breakup.

“Breakups in the spring can feel more feasible because your world starts to expand,” she says. “You're not as isolated and there's more access to support, distraction, and new experiences.” While it’s never easy to end a connection, knowing you can see your friends, plan a vacation, or hang out at a rooftop bar feels oddly comforting.

So, Should You Break Up?

The April relationship theory might apply to you if you’ve been weighing pros and cons of staying with your partner, or if you’ve caught yourself thinking, “Wait, am I actually happy?” That’s a good jumping off point to take a closer look at the health of your connection.

This is your moment to get real with yourself. “Instead of asking if this relationship is perfect, a better question is: ‘Do I feel more like myself in this relationship, or less?’ and ‘Can we grow into the next season together, or am I outgrowing this relationship?’” Chen says.

If you aren’t sure, call in the support of your friends. Do they think you’re a good match? Do they think you’ve seemed happy lately? Sometimes that outside perspective is worth its weight in gold. Do some journaling, thinking, and talking. Chat with your partner, too, about with any concerns. Do they seem receptive to fixing them? If you see a therapist, bring this up in your next session to talk through your options.

Use the momentum of spring and that fresh-air feeling to reconnect with yourself.

If you feel like the relationship has run its course, or it’s holding you back, or it just isn’t quite right, then it’s OK to step away. When initiating a breakup, Chen recommends being clear and specific with your words — not vague as a way to spare your SO’s feelings. “The goal isn't to avoid discomfort, it's to avoid the ambiguity that keeps both people stuck and guessing,” she says.

Figure out what which way you’d feel most comfortable navigating the breakup, given your situation. Maybe you can sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your partner or maybe you’d feel better sending a thoughtful text as a way to keep some distance. Once the deed is done, Chen recommends focusing on you for a while.

Instead of running back to the apps or rushing to replace the relationship, use the momentum of spring and that fresh-air feeling to reconnect with the parts of yourself that may have gotten lost. “That's what actually helps people choose better partners next time,” she says. Who knows? Maybe you’ll have a hot single girl summer. But much like spring cleaning, this breakup could also free up space so you eventually find The One.

Source:

Lisa Chen, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist, founder of Lisa Chen & Associates Therapy