These Things Made You So Anxious In The '90s


These days, I practically give myself ulcers worrying about things like, oh, you know, paying bills and trying to pencil in that vacation I haven't taken in five years. Adulting sucks, eh? If only we could go back to the things that made you anxious in the '90s — then maybe we'd see how good we actually had it. It's not like we needed that much convincing that we were growing up in a charmed decade, but we certainly didn't make it through the '90s totally unscathed. And the things we stressed about? Well, they seem kind of comical today.

While we were young back then, there's only so much the carefree nature of youth can do. It's human nature to worry about things, so naturally we found ourselves filled with anxiety about plenty of things in the '90s. Are they the same things teens today feel anxious about? Meh, probably not. But, at the time, the things that made us anxious seemed totally legit. Actually, if we're really being honest, these things fill us with a latent sense of dread to this very day.

We'll always hold onto all of the things in the '90s that made us happy; there's no question about that. Sometimes, though, it seems the same can be said for these things that we found unnerving.


Unsolved Mysteries

Robert Stack's voice was unnerving AF, for starters. But also, it was impossible not to dread the ending because — after getting sucked into the tragic true story — you knew the credits would roll and leave you sitting there with NO CLOSURE.


Waiting for the Ouija Board cursor to move

Is this thing every gonna move? OMFG, I think it just did.Someone must have moved it. Ah! There it goes again. Bump that — we should probably burn the house down to be on the safe side.


Those Gushers Commercials

What marketing genius thought it would be a good idea to kidsturn into giant anthropomorphic fruit upon eating a Gushers? Channel-surfing and knowing I might inadvertently stumble upon a banana-head filled me with a sense of impending doom.


Getting Into Bed at Night

Between that kid from Pet Sematary slicing ankles from beneath the bed and the Disney Channel show Don't Look Under the Bed, can you really blame us for have some reservations about approaching the bed when it was time for lights out?


Waiting to see if your favorite contestant could defeat the Aggro-Crag

They made it past Road Warrior, Elastic Basketball, and even The Sack Attack — but could they reach the pinnacle of Nickelodeon Guts' glory by traversing the forty-foot tall apocalyptic-looking Aggro-Crag? You missed the action half the time because you couldn't even watch.


Slumber Parties

Sure, slumber parties always wound up being a blast in the'90s (and it's a good thing, 'cause we loved having them). However, that's notto say there wasn't a certain level of nervousness knowing the night wouldundoubtedly include creepy games like "Light as a Feather, Stiff as aBoard" and dares like locking yourself in a dark bathroom and chanting for Bloody Mary.


Jordan Catalano

How could someone so beautiful be such a tool sometimes? We all wanted to pull for dreamy Jared Leto's character in the woefully short-lived teen drama My So-Called Life, but knowing he was always going to disappoint us made looking forward to each episode an exercise in the pleasure of pain.


The Tell-tale Beeping Coming from Your Tamagotchi

Ruh roh, Shaggy . . . someone forgot to feed their little digital alien again. Or let him outside to poop, and now he was drowning in a proverbial sea of his own excrement. For a toy that was supposed to be fun, this one sure was stressful.


Crafting the Perfect AIM Profile

It had to be something that showed how witty yet introspective you were, and bonus points if it hinted at your popularity. Coming up with the perfect AIM profile typically entailed spinning your wheels about it for hours before pasting the lyrics of your favorite song as your bio.


When Sun-In Turned Your Hair Orange

Or swimming in a chlorinated pool — especially after using Sun-In — turned your hair green. Or trying to figure out how much Citre Shine you needed to make your poufy bangs stand at attention. Basically anything and everything to do with our hair in the '90s was an anxiety inducing affair.


Being on the Phone with Your Crush

As if working up the nerve to talk to your crush wasn't terrifying enough, you also had to contend with the ever-present threat of your annoying little bro picking up the line to yell at your for disconnecting the internet, or your 'rents picking up and saying, well, anything.