11 Things Your Partner Should Never Hesitate To Do For You, If They’re “The One”
There's no such thing as a completely perfect relationship, even if your partner is "The One." But if you think you've found your soulmate, you might notice that they never hesitate to do their part to make the relationship better. This might include finding quick resolutions to arguments, offering encouragement when you're down, respecting your boundaries — all of which they do with the aim of helping you out and creating a healthier connection.
That's not to say these things will necessarily come naturally. But they won't be something you'll have to continually fight for in your relationship, either. "Your partner may be 'The One' but they aren't a mind-reader," relationship coach Christie Tcharkhoutian MA, MFT, tells Bustle. You'll still have to communicate with each other to figure out what your idea of a healthy relationship might look like, and then make a few adjustments as necessary.
And there's nothing wrong with that. "If your partner has the potential to be a long-term partner for you, these things will get easier over time and be simpler to produce as they become habitual," Dr. Adi Jaffe, PhD, a mental health expert and relationship counselor, tells Bustle. "All relationships take work, but with constant attention and improvement, this moves from effortful work to automatic relationship building." Here are a few things a soulmate partner will be more than happy to do, all in the name of a healthy relationship, according to experts.
1. Spend Time With You
If you're in the right relationship, you won't have to fight for your partner's time or attention, because they're already happy to give it.
"A loving and supportive partner should be committed to staying connected with you at all costs," Tcharkhoutian says. They'll make time for dates, and sit down with you whenever you need to talk.
That's not to say, though, that you won't have lives outside of your relationship. Being healthy means maintaining your individuality. But at the end of the day, you'll always be each other's top priority.
2. Get To Know Your Friends & Family
If you plan on being together long-term — and your family and friends are important to you — your partner will definitely want to get to know them.
"They will be willing to set aside some time to get together with your friends," Tcharkhoutian says. And they'll be down to meet your parents, if that's something you'd like to do.
Of course, it's OK to set up boundaries if some people aren't getting along. But even then, a supportive partner won't shy away. "Relationships will not always be convenient and sometimes the sacrifice means sitting through an awkward dinner every once in a while," Tcharkhoutian says. "They will do this not because it makes them happy, but it's because it's important to you and they understand that."
3. Ask If You Need Help
Healthy relationships are made up of people who can stand on their own two feet. But a supportive partner will still want to offer their help and support any way they can.
"If you are in a loving and supportive relationship, your partner will be unafraid to ask you what you need help with or how they can make your life easier," Tcharkhoutian says.
This will be especially true if you're going through tough times. If your partner is "The One," they may go out of their way to make your life easier until things calm down again.
4. Tell The Truth
A soulmate partner won't hesitate to be honest with you, even if it means feeling temporarily uncomfortable, or having an argument as a result.
"This can be hard for some partners, especially if they've been relatively avoidant or come from a background in which their modeled relationships (parents) were not very open and honest," Dr. Jaffe says. "But when introduced, this can be the basis of incredibly powerful and intimate relationships."
5. Help When You're Sick
You know you're with a soulmate when even the grossest of illnesses doesn't keep them away. "This shows that they are putting you as their first priority, and they are able to empathize with you when you’re feeling down," Heidi McBain, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. "Plus, even if they get sick too (and then the tables are turned) it’s worth it because they got to take care of you."
6. See Your Perspective
"In a healthy relationship you should expect that your partner puts time into truly understanding your perspective on a topic and provides validation — even if they don't agree with [you]," Irene Schreiner, LMFT, tells Bustle.
They may not give in or agree, but you'll still feel heard and understood. And if you don't, a loving partner will validate that, and make an extra effort to "get" it.
7. Communicate Openly
Although communicating effectively may not come naturally to everyone, your partner will be willing to work on it if they're "The One." "A loving partner knows that good communication is the key to the understanding and empathy that couples need in order to work through the normal ups and downs in a relationship," sex and relationship therapist Rhian Kivits, tells Bustle. "They'll make the time to talk and they'll respond fairly when you don't see eye-to-eye because they want to work together to find solutions. Their goal is to keep moving forward."
It's never easy to apologize, especially after a particularly heated argument. And yet, a soulmate partner will find a way. They'll "apologize to you when they're wrong or make a mistake," psychotherapist Shelly D. Daniel, MSW, LCSW, tells Bustle. But they'll also accept your apologies, as a way of moving on peacefully.
9. Encourage You
Another thing a soulmate partner won't ever hesitate to do is offer encouragement when necessary. As Daniel says, they'll "encourage your personal development because they [...] want you to be your best self." And, they may develop a keen eye for those moments when you're doubting yourself, at which point they'll swoop in and lift you up.
10. Consider Your Future
If your partner is "The One," the relationship will feel like a joint effort, as it moves forward into the future.
"A loving partner should be interested in your views, consider your preferences, and consult you when making decisions that affect your life together," Kivits says. "They'll be truly focused on creating a collaborative relationship based on shared goals and vision."
11. Show Up
If your relationship is one of their top priorities, you'll notice that your partner never leaves you hanging. They show up physically, when they say they will, and they're always available to help you out.
But they'll also be dependable in other ways. "On the emotional side, dependability includes letting you feel secure about how [they feel] about you and your love," relationship expert AnnMarie Kelly, tells Bustle. They aren't afraid to show how committed they really are, with their words and their actions.
These are things you may have to work on over the course of your relationship, if they don't come naturally. But if you're with "The One," your partner will be more than happy to do so.