Life
While dating or in a relationship, the person you’re out with may give you a compliment — they may say they like anything from your hair to what you’re wearing. Not only are compliments nice to hear, but they can also increase your self-esteem. But even if someone has good intentions, what they say may sometimes surprise you, resulting in the weirdest compliment you’ve ever received from a date.
For instance, when on a date in L.A., my date had just kissed me, then paused, stared at me, and said, “You have a beautiful neck.” Excuse me —what?! Throughout the night, he’d never said I was beautiful, or what I was wearing was beautiful, but my neck?! I guess it had what it took. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing at all. I guess “thank you” would have been an appropriate response, but I was too busy wondering why my neck had made the “beautiful” cut, so to speak. That guy and I ended up dating for almost a year and we later discussed the neck compliment and laughed about it, though he didn’t think it was weird at all.
Heidi McBain, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of Life Transitions: Personal Stories of Hope Through Life’s Most Difficult Challenges and Changes, believes that weird compliments may not happen purposely. “If someone gives you an odd compliment, you need to look a little deeper than simply what’s being said on a surface level,” she tells Bustle. “Do you feel like their intentions were good, but that they were just nervous or trying to be cute or funny?” She also says to pay attention to how you feel after their “compliment” — for instance, if you’re creeped out, is this because you don’t feel like the other person’s intentions were good? “Listen to what your intuition is telling you, so you can continue with the date if the other person’s intentions are good,” she says. “And, of course, get out of the situation if you feel their intentions are not good!”
Like McBain says, your intuition can come in very handy when decoding a date’s compliment — or “compliment,” as it were. Below, women reveal the weirdest compliments they’ve gotten on dates — I’m glad I’m not the only one!
1
Michelle, 31
"'You have vampire eyes.'"
2
Alice, 24
“One day, I was out with a date getting coffee, and my date was just staring deeply into my eyes while I rambled on about something. I found it incredibly attractive — until I finished the story and asked what his thoughts were. He responded, ‘Your eyes look like zombie eyes... in a good way!... Um...’ It was meant as a compliment — I have very icy blue eyes that look grey in some lighting — and he was mesmerized by the color, but not sure how to describe it at first. I laughed it off and suggested he try a different adjective. We’re now married and I’ve never let him live it down. These days, he says ‘beautiful eyes’ instead of ‘zombie eyes.’”
3
Meg, 33
“I met a guy online and it was our first date. After meeting for coffee, we both got hungry, so we found a 24-hour diner — it was the only place open after midnight. The whole time, he’d been super polite — holding doors open, having me walk ahead of him, etc. We’re sitting there eating our burgers, talking about usual first-date stuff and, out of the blue, he says, ‘You have really nice hands.’ Oh. OK. I think I nervously laughed. He then touched my hands and held onto them, so maybe saying that was his ‘in.’ I ended up seeing him again, and on the second date, he kept sniffing me (I was wearing perfume) and said, ‘I like your smell.’ I can’t wait to see what he says on the third date!”
4
Katelyn, 24
“One of the oddest compliments I have ever received on a date was actually a series of compliments about my facial features. I kid you not, this is how the conversation went: ‘You have like, the most perfect eyebrows,’ followed by ‘Your teeth, they are just so white and straight.’ All I could say was ‘thank you,’ because I didn’t know how else to react.”
5
Marla, 54
“The very first time my now-ex-husband came into my apartment on our second date (30 years ago) he walked in and said, ‘This place looks like a Hallmark store.’ It was during the holidays, and I swear, to this day, when I start decorating for the holidays — I still hear him saying that. It’s kind of a family joke, although I admit, I’ve become much more of a minimalist!”
6
KC, 50
“My date called me ‘high-maintenance,’ which isn’t weird, except that he meant it as high praise — he was impressed by the time, effort, and money I put into my appearance and self-care.”
7
Roxie, 31
“A woman I was on a date with told me I had nice ears — I think it was because of all my piercings. I actually hate my ears and use the piercings to detract from them, so I guess the woman meant well, though her ‘compliment’ only made me more self-conscious.”
8
Sacha, 29
“My oddest ‘compliment’ was: ‘You are terrifying and incredibly threatening to men. I mean, how could any man feel that you need them when you make so much money?’ (I’m an ex investment banker, CEO, and founder of Mavenli.com.) I mean, really? Do I have to ‘need’ a man in order for them to feel that they stand a chance? I found this bizarre.”
9
Katie, 31
“A first date and I decided to go for a run in Central Park, followed by coffee. When we were stretching after our run, he said, ‘You have really nice ankles.’ That was a new one!”
10
Martina, 23
“I have many stories (yikes), but the weirdest by far was being told that I had ‘a really beautiful butthole’ — so that’s that!”
11
Sarah, 30
"I was casually dating this guy for a few months and telling him how much fun I had in Las Vegas with my friends and he said, 'You should move there.' I know he meant it as a compliment — he said I lit up as I was talking about [my] trip so he wanted to be supportive — but it was definitely a bizarre one, considering that 1) I'm career-oriented and can't do my job outside of New York City and 2) we were dating!"
Like McBain says, many dates probably don’t even realize they’re giving a weird compliment — however, like anything, it’s a case-by-case basis. At the end of the day, only you and your date can determine what their true intentions were via their compliment, and communication is key in finding out.
