Even though dating apps are most popular among Millennials, according to a recent SeatGeek survey of 1,000 singles, 95 percent would rather meet people IRL versus online or on an app. That's why for the second year in a row, Bustle is deeming April, "App-less April" and encouraging our staff and readers to delete their dating apps for 30 days and meet people the old-fashioned way: offline. With participants tracking their progress and tricks and tips from dating experts, we'll be helping you feel empowered to meet people IRL all month long.
I have been a chronic user of dating apps for the past few years, and during Bustle's App-less April challenge, a 30-day dating app detox, I've needed to completely change my mindset and my methods of meeting new people. I'm determined to put myself out in the universe with positive energy in order to manifest love and happiness.
"I suggest a break to my clients all the time," says Ravid Yosef, dating and relationship coach, tells Bustle. "Sometimes our energy is what's attracting others and if we don't have enough self-care in our life or get obsessive with our notifications, we start looking for validations outside of ourselves. Which in turn attracts the wrong kind of attention."
Over the past few weeks during the challenge, I've made efforts to attend new events and reach out to meet people with similar interests. In the process, I've learned more about myself and I feel that I have achieved personal growth. I've learned that I'm indeed capable of meeting new people without using dating apps as a crutch. I've found that I am not the shy and meek person that I've always told myself that I am. I attract the energy and positivity that I give off.
Now that I am offline, it's imperative that I focus on setting my intentions and reflecting on my actions and my thought processes. My desires with using dating apps has always been to find a serious, committed partner, and to find love and a deeply meaningful relationship. In order to attract this, known in spiritual and psychological circles as the act of manifesting, I must align my actions and thoughts with my intentions.
I spoke with Ian Gilliam, a New York based reiki practitioner and teacher of raja yoga, to learn more about how we can manifest love into our lives during App-less April. Here are his five pieces of insight:
"There is an outer and inner stillness that must be achieved in order to manifest one goals," Gilliam says. "Quiet the mind. Quiet the emotions. Quiet the body. Then one can listen to the inner nature."
Don't let past mishaps in your love life get in the way of your future. "You must never allow yourself to become identified with your failures or your success but must develop a state of detachment from both," Gilliam says. "This will allow to see mistakes and do away with them as well as see what works in what situation and be able to use them as tools."
"Too often we aren't aware of how our emotions affect our physical states and vice versa," Gilliam says. "Become present to your breath and sense the tension within and release before endeavors and you will have the presence of mind necessary to succeed."
Take this time to evaluate your thoughts and behaviors. "In all manifestations ask oneself, Is this true? Am I being myself right now and living up to my inner nature, or this behavior an act from my conditioning, my desire to be accepted and thought well of even if it is to my detriment?"
Think about what you're putting out there. "We are all manifestations of love and thus a transmitter for the force that is called love," Gilliam says. "Get out of your own way and allow love to move through you. Become a proper tool and vessel to house love and spread it evenly and without limit like the sun spreads it light on all things from the lowest creature to highest."
Now get out there and make love happen!