Life

7 Positions For When You're Emotionally Connected

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

If you ask anyone who's been in a serious relationship, they're bound to tell you that when you're emotionally connected to your partner, it often makes for better sex. While this is definitely not a diss to one-night stands —personally, some of the best sex of my life has been with people I never saw again — there is definitely something to be said about having sex with someone whom you're truly connected on all levels. Not just because you're already on the same page, sexually, but because when you're linked beyond just the physical aspect, there's a level of familiarity that you're not likely to find in a one-night stand. Which, honestly, is part of the excitement of a one-night stand. (Yes, I'm super pro one-night stands — is it obvious enough?)

But once you've found that person with whom you're emotionally connected, then are definitely sex positions that are even better because of it. For starters, with emotional connectedness comes an intimate trust that you're not going to find in a one-night stand position and, that right there, opens the door to specific positions that, otherwise, wouldn't be as good.

So, if you found yourself someone with whom you have that connection, then here are seven sex positions that are going to be even better because of it.

1

Coital Alignment Technique

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: Starting in missionary, have your partner move more upward so that their pelvis is a bit higher than yours. Next, have them penetrate you from this angle. But instead of the usual in-out style of penetration, the two of you should be grinding against instead — hence the reason why this is a fantastic position for the female orgasm.

Why it's better when you're emotionally connected to your partner: In general, missionary sex positions (all modifications of it) are definitely better when you're emotionally connected to someone. I mean, that eye contact alone speaks volumes. So to be engaged in coital alignment with someone whom you're fortunate to have such a connection, is just going to make it better because it's already pretty intimate.

2

The Reach Around

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: While on your hands and knees, as you would in doggy style, have your partner reach around and stimulate your clitoris with a toy or their fingers.

Why it's better when you're emotionally connected to your partner: In my experience, sex toys don't usually come out during a one-night stand. Not because I don't want them to or there's any level of embarrassment, but, well, they just don't. But when you're emotionally connected to someone you're more likely to be candid in your communication in bed, so if you're in the middle of doggy and want to add a toy to the mix, you're going to say it — hell, your partner might even reach for the toy first.

3

Face To Face

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: While facing each other, lift your upper leg and drape it over your partner's hip. When they begin to penetrate you, you can lock your leg around them for a deeper a sensation.

Why it's better when you're emotionally connected to your partner: With this sex position, you get the eye contact that, when you're really connected to someone, makes the physical aspect even better. It's also great because this is a position that will make a male partner last longer, so you can really enjoy every movement in an intimate way.

4

Modified Doggy Style

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: For this one, you can either start in the doggy style position then lower yourself down. Or, you can start already lowered, even flat on the bed if you'd like, and have your partner penetrate you like that.

Why it's better when you're emotionally connected to your partner: From a personal standpoint, this position is better when you're emotionally connected because it's a more intimate version of doggy. While you still get the primal aspect of doggy style that many love, you're able to kiss, your partner can lock their fingers into yours (if that's your thing), and the proximity allows for whispered dirty talk that, in my humble opinion, can often be sexier than regular volume dirty talk. There's a connectedness in this position that's undeniable.

5

Seated Lotus

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: With your partner sitting cross-legged, lower yourself down into their lap. Then, wrap your legs around their waist and your arms around their body. This is actually one of the most intimate sex positions out there.

Why it's better when you're emotionally connected to your partner: Well, look at it. This isn't a sex position you're likely to engage in just willy-nilly, because the whole point of it is the intimacy factor. Because that's the case, it only makes sense that this position, which is great as is, would be extra great when you're emotionally connected.

6

Anal Sex (Or Any Type Of Anal Play)

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: Choose a position in which you're most comfortable and have your partner penetrate you.

Why it's better when you're emotionally connected to your partner: I know so many women who thoroughly enjoy anal sex, but because there's still a stigma surrounding the act, they're hesitant to not just engage in anal play, of any kind, but even admit to their desire for it. But, that being said, you are into anal and you are emotionally connected to someone, you will find that, oh wow, this particular position is practically mind blowing. The trust alone that comes with being able to tell your partner that you're into anal already sets up a boatload of intimacy, so you're well on your way to a phenomenal experience.

7

In A Chair

Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

How to do it: As the name suggests, you're going to need a chair. I always suggest a sturdy chair, as in something that isn't held together by only one or two little screws, but some heavy duty stuff. Next, have your partner sit in the chair, straddle them, then lower yourself into their lap.

Why it's better when you're emotionally connected to your partner: Although having sex in a chair is a great position for one-night stands, because it's hot AF, when you have that emotional connection there's a deeper sensuality to it. You're moving slower, you're making eye contact, and it just feels amazing. Try it; you'll see what I mean.

No matter the situation, the connection level, the mood, the time of year, and so many other factors, there's a sex position for it. It's just about trying them all, finding what fits best, then incorporating it into your sex life.