At some point or another, we all experience insecurity in the bedroom. If you feel like you're not totally comfortable with your ~sexual~ self, there's absolutely no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Sex is a super intimate act, and it's natural to feel a little vulnerable sometimes (even if you're with a long-term partner) — but it's worth working on, because having insecurities in the bedroom can have a negative impact on your sex life.
"When someone is sexually insecure, their minds tend to be taken out of the moment and over-focused on performance or approval — like what they may or may not be doing 'right' or what they don't like about their body," Kristin Marie Bennion, Licensed Mental Health Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist, tells Bustle. "When someone's mind is focused on these annoying distractions, they have a difficult time experiencing desire, excitement, anticipation and pleasure — all of which are important ingredients to an ideal sexual experience."
Getting comfortable with yourself sexually and learning to be confident in bed is a process, and everyone moves at a different pace. It might seem daunting to tackle an issue like being insecure or anxious about sex, but things like exploring your body through masturbation or talking to a sex therapist can massively help you if you want to get more acquainted with your sexual side. "When someone is comfortable in bed, it usually means that they anticipate that the experience will be enjoyable and pleasurable for both partners," Bennion says. "It also means they likely know enough about their own sexual template (e.g. sexual desires, preferred techniques, etc.) and don’t shy away from communicating those desires to their partner."
Here are seven signs that you might have some work to do on getting more comfortable with your sexuality.