7 Things You May Not Think Are Sexual Assault Or Abuse, But Are
Our culture has this collective image of sexual assault that involves a stranger attacking and raping a woman with physical force — and yes, that certainly is sexual assault. But there are also many forms of sexual assault and a broad range of victims and perpetrators that don't fit this stereotype. Learning about them is necessary in order to support survivors who too often get invalidated and told they weren't actually assaulted — and necessary to dismantle the rampant rape culture at large in our society.
Sexual assault is "any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient," according to the United States Department of Justice. "Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape." This is a wide range of actions, many of which schools leave out in sex education — if they teach students anything at all.
When we use this definition, we see that sexual assault is even more common than we realized. For example, while it's often cited that one in five women experience sexual assault during college, that's when you only consider rape. When the Association of American Universities asked students about all unwanted touching for its 2015 Campus Climate Survey, they found that number to be one in three.
Here are some things we don't always think of as sexual assault that absolutely are. If one of them has happened to you, your experience is no less real or deserving of sympathy than a more stereotypical victim's.
Stealthing is the practice of removing a condom without your partner knowing. This is sexual assault because one requirement for true consent is that it's informed. If you think your partner is wearing a condom, you're not consenting to sex without a condom.
"Grabbing someone by the p*ssy" without their permission is not "locker room talk," as Donald Trump described it — it's sexual assault. Touching anybody in a sexual way without their consent is. It doesn't matter where the touch was or whether it went any further.
3. Continuing After Someone Says To Stop
It's possible to sexually assault someone even if they've consented to sex if you continue after they revoke that consent. If somebody says they're no longer into it, you don't have their consent anymore.
4. Verbal Coercion
Sexual assault isn't always completed through physical force. It can also be completed through threats, guilting, and other psychological forms of manipulation. If you get someone to say "yes" by pressuring them, it's not actually a "yes."
5. Marital Sexual Assault
Despite that fact that marital rape isn't clearly outlawed in all U.S. states, you can assault someone no matter what your relationship is. In fact, the majority of female rape victims have perpetrators who were intimate partners, according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey.
6. Sex Trafficking
While some sex workers enter the profession voluntarily, people who are trafficked are victims of sexual assault. They are forced to engaged in sexual activity for the financial benefit of their pimp, and anyone forced to engage in sexual activity is being assaulted.
7. Sexual Contact With Someone Incapable Of Consenting
Even if somebody says "yes," they have not consented if they are drunk, high, or under the legal age of consent. If you're not sure if someone is capable of consenting, you're better off waiting until they are than risking the possibility that they'll wake up traumatized the next day.