Although I've had more than my fair share of one-night stands, to say that enjoyed all of them would not be true. For me, during most of my 20s and into my 30s, one-night stands were something I did when the opportunity arose, or if it had been a long time since I'd had sex and was sort of looking to satisfy a craving or scratch an itch. To quote Gabriel García Márquez, "Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love," and I found this to be true (in a good way) for most of my adult life.
"A one-night stand is like a vacation," Zoë Kors, a sex and intimacy coach, tells Bustle. "It can be very therapeutic to be intimate with someone who exists outside the structures of our regular lives. It’s a great way to step out of the bubble for a moment and play."
But while one-night stands are indeed a vacation, trying to have a successful one is something with which I've struggled. As someone who's had fewer relationships than one-night stands, I can at least attest to the fact that some of the best sex is with someone you really know. But, if you're willing to be open and share you wants and needs with a one-night stand, you can have just as pleasurable sex with them, too – it just took me a while to figure that part out. Here's what I learned from that process.