9 Personality Traits That Can Predict If Someone Will Be Loyal In A Long-Term Relationship
There are definitely folks on this earth who have a few personality traits that can indicate signs they will remain loyal in a relationship, while others — not so much. And when you're out in the dating world and meeting new people, it can certainly help to stay away from the latter and look for the former. But, as with everything, it's also important to remember people are complex, and nothing is guaranteed.
"While personality is something to consider when assessing possible loyalty in a relationship, it shouldn’t be a major factor," Jonathan Bennett, relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. "Anyone is capable of cheating or remaining loyal ... so don’t prematurely judge your partner just because [they have] a certain personality trait. The opposite is also true. Don’t ignore red flags just because your partner seems to have a personality you don’t think lends itself to infidelity."
That said, when it comes to whether or not a person will be more likely to commit in a relationship, there does seem to be a connection between certain personality traits and their ability and desire to stick it out during tough times, work on problems, and stay faithful. Here are a few traits experts say may go hand-in-hand with loyalty in relationships, so you can keep your eyes out for someone who fits the bill.
1. They Have A Positive Outlook On Life
While you don't need to only date people who are sickeningly sweet, it might be nice to look for someone who has a generally positive outlook — not just because positive people are awesome to be around, but because there may be a link between positivity and loyalty.
"If you have a positive outlook on life and you apply that to your relationships, you’re going to be more satisfied and less likely to stray," Bennett says. "For example, research shows that having an 'idealized' view of your partner led to a higher level of trust and greater relationship happiness."
And when you think about it, this connection makes sense. When relationship problems do arise, positive folks will be more likely to find a healthy solution. A positive partner might also be more likely to overlook daily annoyances, that might cause other, more negative people to stray.
2. They Have A Desire To Commit
This one may seem obvious, but pretty much everyone's dated someone at one point or another who wasn't crystal clear about their desire not to commit, and then ended up not being very loyal.
So it can help to keep your eyes peeled for someone who values commitment. "People who value commitment and have been in long-term relationships are generally more loyal," Bennett says. These people want to commit, and are honest about it from the get-go.
It's all about finding someone whose goals match your own, so you can both be on the same page when it comes to sticking together, and being loyal.
3. They Aren’t Afraid Of Routine
While it's not necessary to follow a super strict or boring routine in order to have a long-term relationship — because hey, couples can have fun, too — it's true that having a certain comfort with routine can certainly make it easier to be loyal.
"People who enjoy routine and don’t need to be constantly experiencing something new are probably going to be more satisfied with the same romantic partner on a daily basis," Bennett says. "While this might not translate into true loyalty, it should lessen the person’s desire to actively try to cheat.”
4. They Embrace Uncertainty
While they may appreciate routine, loyal folks also have an ability to embrace uncertainty and roll with the punches. "Individuals who can tolerate and frankly embrace uncertainty may be more likely to stay in a committed relationship," Joshua Klapow, PhD, clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, tells Bustle. "They’re able to navigate change that happens over time," without letting it scare them away.
5. They Are Empathetic
Another big indicator of loyalty is someone's ability to empathize. "Individuals who are empathetic are more likely to stay in a long-term relationship, because relationships require a deep understanding of emotions and the courage to express them," Dr. Klapow says. "Empathy also helps them handle their partner's emotions."
6. They Have A Strong Sense Of Self
When someone knows who they are, they often have an easier time sinking into the comfort of a relationship, while also allowing the relationship to bolster them as they try new things.
"Overconfidence, however — and confidence that is a mask for insecurity — will not bode well," Dr. Klapow says. When a person lacks confidence, they tend to look to others for a sense of validation. And when they're overly confident, they might be more likely to push their relationship aside, in favor of getting more attention.
7. They're Able To Recover Quickly From Disappointment
"Individuals who are able to recover from disappointment and rejection relatively quickly tend to fair better in long-term relationships," Dr. Klapow says. That's because "relationships are filled with episodes of rejection, criticism, and disappointment, so it's the individuals who are able to take that information and those experiences, process them, and then move forward who are much better equipped to stay with a long-term relationship."
8. They're Reliable
If someone does what they say they'll do, and stays true to their word, there's a good chance they won't be sneaking around behind your back any time soon.
"If you can rely on your partner and [they show] consistent behavior in the relationship, then this should give you an indicator that [they] can be loyal," Samantha Daniels, dating expert and founder of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, tells Bustle. It's just two sides of the same coin when it comes to character.
9. They're A Good Communicator
When one or both partners is bad at communicating their needs, it becomes easier for them to seek fulfillment and understanding outside their relationship. So it makes sense why there might be a connection between good communication skills and loyalty in a relationship.
"A good communicator makes an effort to listen and choose their words, so that when they have a conversation with someone, they are on the same page," psychic and spiritual counselor David Rappaport tells Bustle. "If they are able do this, you will always know where you stand." And you can thus fix problems before they get out of hand.
Now, these traits obviously don't guarantee someone will be loyal, just like a lack of them doesn't mean someone will cheat. But when someone is empathetic, trustworthy, and down to make a relationship work, they tend to, well, make it work. So keep an eye out for these traits, and you might have an easier time forming a relationship with someone that'll be happy, healthy, and last long-term.