On Saturday, Guardians of the Galaxy star Zoe Saldana announced the arrival of her third son, Zen, with husband Marco Perego on Instagram. It is amazing news for the actor and her growing family. Zen joins his older twin brothers, Cy and Bowie, and the first photo of the three together is beyond precious. However, the internet cannot stop asking if Saldana was pregnant and it needs to stop.
Saldana is just the latest celebrity mom facing a barrage of questions about how her child came into her life, and it's time to get serious about why it is not OK to question any mom on how she became a mother. When it was recently announced Amal and George Clooney are expecting twins, she was immediately faced with questions about whether or not she used IVF. Meanwhile, in 2011, conspiracy theorists would not stop spreading rumors that Beyoncé was faking her pregnancy with daughter Blue Ivy. All these speculations do is take the focus off of the joy these women feel over becoming mothers for the first time or adding to their families.
Look, I get it, celebrity gossip can be addictive. I freak out every single time Mindy Kaling posts a photo with B.J. Novak, but there is a fine line between being interested in your fave celebs and being intrusive. Parenting and parenthood are deeply personal experiences, and celebrities want to protect their kids just as much — if not more — as everyone else.
Saldana was under no obligation to share the news of her son's arrival with the world, but she did. I imagine she made the announcement because she is excited, and wants to share her excitement with her fans. No matter how baby Zen came into this world, he is Saldana's son and she is a proud mom.
When the focus turns to questions of whether or not Saldana was pregnant, used a surrogate, or adopted her child, it's as if her amazing news is not special enough all on its own. She is now the mom of three little boys — she is embarking on a whole new adventure. This is a landmark moment in her life, and in her journey as a mother.
Taking away from that with questions about the nature of her son's birth is just not OK. No one, celebrity or not, is under any obligation to share the story of how they became parents. If they choose to share their story, then by all means, listen to them and feel privileged they chose to share such a private, important event with you. However, if they don't go into details, simply say congratulations, coo over how cute their new addition is, and be happy for them. More importantly, don't try to undercut their happiness with invasive questions.
Saldana deserves to be treated with the same respect you would give to your closest friend, or that you would want to be given yourself. Let her bask in her motherhood moment, and be happy she shared it with the world. There are no degrees of legitimacy when it comes to motherhood. No matter what path you take to get there, a mom is a mom, and Saldana is clearly a mom completely in love with her three beautiful sons. Don't just let her bask in her happiness, share it with her and leave the gossip out of the equation.
