Bachelor Nation has known about Colton's fence jump heard-around-the world since, uh, day one of his participation with The Bachelor, but it wasn't until Colton explained his fence jump on "Women Tell All" did viewers, contestants, and the inimitable Chris Harrison gained insight into exactly what was going through Colton's noggin when he decided to scale an eight-foot fence while wearing dress pants. Are we sure those pants didn't rip? Did he practice for this? Does Colton do a lot of parkour at home that we don't know about, or is this strictly an adrenaline situation? Colton gave us some answers, but certainly not all of them.
For those of you who don't watch or want to relive it, Colton needed to leave his little house in Portugal because Cassie, the woman he declared his love on the show, bailed on him when he least expected it. It turns out that, thanks to a little help from her dad, who producers definitely paid to take a flight to Portugal, Cassie realized that the feelings she felt for Colton weren't enough to keep her going through the whole process of being on The Bachelor. You can't hide from dad. Good old Matt Randolph had a pretty good take, actually, because after six weeks, who is really ready and able to get married, especially at age 23? Those couples who do that (all the power to them, though!) and last are the exception and definitely not the rule.
Colton told Chris Harrison on "Women Tell All" that he ran away because he felt an overwhelming need to be loved or find love. Colton came into Becca's season of The Bachelorette thinking that he was unlovable, so the fact that so many women have bailed on him at this point on The Bachelor has made him into a real head case.
In the fence-jumping moments, Colton admitted to Harrison that he thought that there would at least be a little craft services tent on the other side so he could get a snick-snack and then run away to his corner in the heat of the moment. But there was none, and he said that was actually glad to be alone in the Portuguese wilderness, just because it was what he needed in that moment. It was also a relief for fans, because seriously, watching Chris Harrison and the producers call Colton to come back in the same manner one would a dog has to be in the top-three Bachelor moments of all time.
Now, we must all wait to see where Colton ends up. He has Tayshia and Hannah G. waiting in the wings, but he's already told Cassie that he's in love with her and wants to be with her at the end. So, uh, he can't exactly tell Tayshia and Hannah G. the same thing. Colton is dealing with his own heartbreak in having Cassie walk away, but he's also going to smash into bits Tayshia and Hannah G.'s whole worlds. That's a lot of emotion coming down the line, and only in six hours of programming. Right now, viewers don't know what's up and what's down.
But then again, does Colton?