Here's a fact that will never stop being incredible: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star and “Painkillr” songstress Erika Girardi gave her husband a toilet for Christmas this year — and it's not just any ol' commode. In a recent interview with People, the Bravolebrity revealed she bought a $5,000 toilet for Tom Girardi. She took the plunge and picked out a present that's as useful as it is hilarious. Well played, Erika Jayne. Well played.
When People asked her what she got her husband of 18 years for Christmas, the Beverly Hills Housewife's answer sounded like something that you might hear in yet another Erika Jayne Saturday Night Live sketch. “I bought him the top of the line Toto toilet that has heated seats and oscillation,” she laughed. “Yeah, I got him a toilet.” If gifting someone with a high-end crapper isn’t true love, then what is? Erika added, “Complete with custom made toilet paper, but I’m not going to tell you what’s on it.” Yes, she had custom T.P. made for Tom, too. This gift just keeps getting better and better.
Surprising her spouse with an elaborate porcelain throne on Xmas is so on brand; Erika is no stranger to being wonderfully over-the-top, and this toilet situation is one of the many reasons why she's a true legend. Here are just some of the things Erika has done in the last few years that are delightfully extra.
This Yuletide Hairdo
She sure had a hairy, jolly Christmas.
Last year, she opened up an “office” in Hollywood called the Pretty Mess Clubhouse. In lieu of cubicles and fax machines, Erika's office boasts an enormous closet, a well-lit makeup room, a lounge, and a bar. It’s a space where she and the Erika Jayne team conduct all Erika Jayne-related business, aka the greatest place on the planet.
The Octopus Tank That’s Nestled In A Bookshelf
In a 2016 episode of Animal Planet series Tanked, fish tank designers Brett Raymer and Wayde King built an aquarium for Tom and Erika’s pet octopus. Yes, an eight-legged cephalopod lives in the study of their home. There are no words.
The Gold Room From The “How Many F**ks?” Music Video
OK, this entire music video is wild, but everything happening in that gold room? Whew. That gold lipstick is next-level.
The Money-Stuffed Pillows From The "XXPEN$IVE" Music Video
Perfect. Just perfect.
The House She Rented In Greece
When Erika booked a performance in Greece in Season 7, she and Kyle Richards stayed in a place that rented for $50,000/week. Ah, chump change.
The Beginning Of This Dancing With The Stars Performance
Remember when she kicked off her routine to “XXPEN$IVE” perched atop a unicorn? No one is worthy.
Her Vacation Lookbooks
Leave town without a binder full of vacation outfits? Erika would never. Who wants to waste valuable trip time trying to figure out what they’re going to wear or attempting to recall why they packed what they packed?
Her Pair Of Private Planes
Her family owns not one, but two private planes. Two. Why? As she told Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live in 2016, “Because one is small and one is big.” Well, there you have it.
And now, she’s given her significant other a toilet for Christmas. A fancy, xxpen$ive, and heated toilet. Here’s an important question: Did she wrap the toilet in wrapping paper and put it under the tree, or did she have it installed while Tom was at work? Gosh, it really is too bad RHOBH isn't filming right now. It would've been life-changing to see a toilet-shaped package waiting under the Girardi Xmas tree on an episode of the reality show.
How will she possibly top such an iconic present next year? No idea. But if history tells us anything, it's that Erika will undoubtedly figure out how to outpoo, er, outdo a $5,000 toilet.