Experts Say These 7 Body Language Cues May Mean Your Partner's Attraction To You Has Changed
No matter how often your they tell you they love you, you probably occasionally feel like your partner isn't attracted to you anymore. Maybe your schedules aren't lining up quite as well as you'd like or you feel like you're sometimes more like roommates than partners, and you aren't sure whether your connection to each other is as strong as it once was. Periods like this are normal in any relationship, especially if you have been together for a while. It could mean absolutely nothing and doesn't need to be looked into further. But in case you're curious about what body language could potentially say about your partner's feelings toward you, some experts suggested some interesting connections.
For one thing, if your partner begins suddenly changing the way they dress or the kinds of places they hangout, this could point to a change in their emotional state, Deanna Fernandez, MA, EdM, MHC, a NYC-based therapist, tells Bustle. While this isn't strictly a body language shift, per say, it's a physical change that might point back to an emotional change. Try asking your partner about what inspired their new style or if they can introduce you to their new favorite spots to go. Who knows — you two might be able to bond over the new interests together.
Here are some body language signs that might signal that your partner isn't attracted to you anymore, according to experts.
1. They Shield You From Their Phone
You and your partner definitely don't have to share everything to have a healthy relationship, and determining whether you decide to give each other free access to your phones is totally up to you. But in some cases, putting a barrier between you and their phone when you are together is a symbol of being closed off, Dr. Caroline Madden, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in infidelity, tells Bustle. While at the most extreme case this could possibly indicate infidelity, it more likely suggests that their full emotional attention isn't on you at the moment.
2. They Avoid Physical Intimacy
There are almost infinite reasons why your partner might not want to be physically intimate, from feeling sad to being tired, to simply not being in the mood. Nobody wants to have sex all the time, and that's absolutely fine. But cringing when you initiate physical touch isn't a great sign, Dr. Madden says. While this could be a sign that your partner isn't attracted to you, it could also mean that they're upset about something you've said or done. They may also just want a little space to themself, so don't hesitate to ask what's wrong and how you can support them.
3. They Don't Making Eye Contact
Making eye contact with someone can signal deep intimacy. Barely making eye contact, especially when talking to someone, can potentially indicate that you're either hiding something, or not attracted to the person, Fernandez says. When you're looking someone directly in the eyes, it's extremely difficult to fake your feelings, she says, so if your partner isn't connecting with you in this way, it could possibly be a sign that they aren't as attracted to you as they used to be. Again, if you have a feeling that something is off, definitely ask them what's up.
4. They Are Closed Off During Conversation
When you're deeply in love, you want to know about what your partner is feeling and how their day was going, so you probably look forward to coming together to chat after time apart. While you don't have to spend every free moment together to be in a healthy relationship, if your partner doesn't seek you out and initiate a conversation while giving you their full physical attention — no phones or other distractions in sight — they may not be connecting with you as much as you'd like, Fernandez says. Alternatively, not opening up or being present during a conversation could point to other things like having trouble expressing themself or not feeling able to discuss certain things.
5. Their Pupils Don't Dilate When They See You
"This is probably the easiest way to tell when your partner is losing interest," Adina Mahalli, MSW, a certified relationship expert and mental health consultant, tells Bustle. "If your partner is sexually attracted to you, their pupils will dilate." This is one sign that could definitely be affected by things like sleepiness, lighting levels, or even whether they're distracted, though, so no need to immediately worry just because you don't see their eyes changing when they look at you.
6. They Cross Their Arms
You might notice that your partner usually crosses their arms whenever they talk to you. While this can be 100% innocent, as some people just feel comfortable standing this way, it might be worth noticing. Open arms mean they that trust you, but closed arms could possibly mean they aren't interested in being intimate or letting you in, Mahalli says.
7. They Cross Their Legs
For lots of people, it's totally normal for them to sit with their legs crossed. It could be more comfortable for them, or simply be a force of habit. But to someone whose partner doesn't usually sit this way, this simple action might have some deeper meaning. Sitting this way could mean that your partner is mentally, emotionally, or physically closed off, Mahalli says, but you might also be able to chalk it up to something absolutely innocent.
All of that being said, any one of these body language signs could mean something as simple as your partner feeling tired or they need a little bit of alone time, so do your best not to worry just because your partner is crossing their arms during a conversation. If you're really worried, just check in with them and make sure that they're feeling OK.