How To Have Have Sex When Someone's In The Next Room, According To 7 Millennial Women
When it comes to having sex with your partner, you may not always have privacy. In other words, you may have sex when someone's in the next room or somewhere nearby. Though some people may think this is NBD — after all, maybe they're already into having sex in public places, so what's the big deal if someone's in the next room? — others may be more shy about it and take longer getting used to the idea of doing so. Whether you're having sex in the next room while your roommate’s in the other room, or your parents, though it may be challenging, it's definitely feasible.
"When there are others in the house, the idea of getting 'caught' having sex is exciting for some," Rachel Needle, Psy.D., licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in West Palm Beach, Florida, tells Bustle. "For those who really want to have sex, but don't want others to hear, [you] can take steps to reduce the noise. First, if you are using a bed, make sure the bed is away from the wall so it doesn't bang up against it. If there is not a way to move the bed, you can use the floor, or bend over the side of the bed. Depending on how much noise you typically make during sex, putting on some music can also help mask some of the noise. If you are face-to-face with your partner, you can kiss when you want to moan or scream. For some, biting a pillow works to hold back the moans. Gazing into your partner's eyes or even verbally telling them how good it feels can be hot and less noisy."
All that said, here's what seven women said about how they have sex with their partner when someone's in the next room.
1. Alexa, 27
"This one's easy — just don't be verbal. My roommate would ~never~ open the door to my bedroom unannounced, so my boyfriend and I don't have anything to worry about. But, out of respect for her, he and I also keep things down. If she's out of town, that's another story… but just make sure you're not doing a position that's too mind-blowing and you'll be good to go!"
2. Drea, 23
"In college, my roommate and I would put a scrunchie around our respective doorknobs if we had a 'guest' over, and no questions asked! She and I still live together today, and still use the same system! Of course, my boyfriend and I also try to be as quiet as possible, and we usually do so by doing the missionary position or having sex in the shower (running water is a great way to mask noise)!"
3. Katie, 31
"I've had the kind of roommates who have super loud sex, and it's ~super~ annoying, fast! So when my girlfriend or boyfriend is over (I'm bi), I'm super respectful of my roommate's space and my partner and I will make it into a game to keep as quiet as we can. Of course, the position matters, too. But since we like to do some kinky sh*t anyway, covering each other's mouths while orgasming or tying a bandana around the other person's mouth, it comes more in handy if we have to keep things down!"
4. Lara, 28
"I think it all depends on the sex position you choose. The less adventurous, the better, is a good rule of thumb to follow if you're trying to have sex on the DL."
5. Olivia, 32
"My boyfriend and I get shy about having sex if we know one of our roommates is home, so we turn on a white noise machine. Often, we hope that our roommates just assume we're sleeping and don't hear us over the machine. We hope so anyway!"
6. Maggie, 29
"Sex with roommates in the next room is one thing, but sex with my parents (or my boyfriend's!) in the next room is a whole other, like over the holidays! Sometimes, we try to abstain, but then we feel that's silly. Our solution? Instead of the bed, we'll have sex on the floor or against the wall. We feel that's quieter, and also it's quicker, so we get our needs met without causing suspicion from a squeaky bed (which I swear is squeaky on purpose, courtesy of my conservative parents, just so we don't have sex!)."
7. Rose, 30
"My apartment walls are incredibly thin, so when my roommate is home, we skip doggy style and cowgirl and stick to missionary. Oh, and put on music and the air conditioner!"
Overall, when it comes to having sex when someone's in the next room, creativity and keeping quiet seem to be key. Of course, maybe the people in the next room don't mind hearing you have sex, but that's a whole other topic altogether.