How To Overcome Intimacy Issues In Your Relationship If The Sex Isn’t What It Used To Be

Ashley Batz for Bustle

There’s a lot of advice out there about rekindling the flame in a long-term relationship. But how do you tell your partner that the flame isn’t there anymore for you? Improving your sex life isn’t something you do alone, and if you want a better sexual connection, you’ll have to start off by talking and building the emotional connection. It’s a delicate conversation, because you don’t want your partner to feel at fault for your declining sex life — you want to work through it as a team. But with the right wording, you can do that.

“Why does the sex life decline in the first place? It's because we get comfortable settled into a regular routine,” Mayla Green, sex coach for, tells Bustle. “Humans naturally form regular patterns — we are creatures of habit after all — and our sex life is no different. Unfortunately, this affects the sex life and it becomes boring.”

The boredom that may set in as your relationship goes on, though, is just an invitation to try new things. If you’re not as satisfied with your sex life as you used to be, here are some ways to broach the subject with your partner.