James & Lala’s Pasta Fight On ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Was Really About Pasta, According to Kristen

Ad failed to load

The Pasta Monologue of Fairfax Avenue may be over, but the mystery of its meaning rages on. On Monday’s episode of Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen (editor: Kelly Simpson), Vanderpump Rules heroine Kristen Doute talked about the “it’s not about the pasta” fight. The instantly iconic argument between James Kennedy and Lala Kent has sparked some theories regarding what the two former best friends were actually yelling about, but their co-star maintains that was not about that kind of "pasta."

On the Monday, Jan. 22 episode of Pump Rules (segment producer: Sally Bricker), James and Lala got into a heated spat about their respective significant others, their friendship, and pasta. According to Pump lore, James’ girlfriend, Raquel Leviss, ordered pasta during one of James’s DJ sets at SUR. And then, Lala and James’s friend Logan Noh ate all of Raquel’s pasta. Lala and Logan told James that this upset Raquel, James got upset with Lala and Logan, and Lala got upset with James. And then, James uttered a heart stopper of a soliloquy. Like Jax Taylor's Taco Bell sweatshirt reveal, the pasta monologue will be one of the most memorable moments of what has been a genuinely fantastic season.

Bravo on YouTube
Ad failed to load

“Why is it about the damn pasta?" James bellowed. "Get over the damn pasta! Read between the f*cking lines! It ain’t about the pasta! It’s not about the pasta! It’s not about the pasta.”

This passionate monologue about a plate of noodles prompted some viewers to do their own reading between the lines: What if it isn’t about pasta, but it is about “pasta?” And what if “pasta” is the cast’s euphemism for cocaine? And with that, a new Pump Rules conspiracy theory was born.

Ad failed to load

Never one to miss a chance to get to the bottom of a Bravolebrity mystery, Andy Cohen brought up the nose pasta theory to Kristen during Monday’s WWHL. “Is pasta a code word for something else,” Cohen asked, “like cocaine?”

Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen on YouTube

Sorry, pasta truthers, but the former SURver has shut this theory down. “Pasta is not the code word for cocaine, I swear,” she told the King of Bravo. “I actually almost ate the pasta … It’s the angel hair checca at SUR. It is a huge portion. I would’ve eaten it, too.”

Ad failed to load

The founder of Vegiholic has been making an effort to squash the “pasta = cocaine” theory ever since it reared its head a week ago. A few days before her WWHL appearance, Kristen tweeted that her co-stars weren’t really arguing about cocaine, contrary to what some viewers SUR-mised. She wrote, “no means no and pasta means pasta." A couple of hours later, she added, “I’m not joking. I almost ate the pasta, too. Ask @Stassi, she was there.”

Kristen isn't the only Pumper who wants to set the record straight. Last Tuesday, Ariana Madix wrote, “The. Scene. Isn’t. About. Blow. Why does no one listen to me when I give the answers.” And last but certainly not least, the man behind The Pasta Monologue of Fairfax Avenue himself chimed in, too. Less than a day after “It’s Not About The Pasta” aired, James tweeted, “When I say ‘it’s not about the pasta’ it was about actually pasta and the fact Lala stuffed here face with all my girls food without remorse is the reason I got piss in the first place k.”

Ad failed to load

There you have it: It is literally about literal pasta, and according to the Pump cast, it certainly isn’t about “pasta.” Five bucks says Peter Madrigal shows up at the end of the Season 6 reunion special with a platter of angel hair checca instead of his usual tray of SUR cocktails.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Everything Leaving & Coming To Netflix In June To Help Get Your Summer Started

Summer is right around the corner, and so is another batch of streaming options to get excited about. On Wednesday, everything leaving and coming to Netflix in June 2018 was announced by the streaming platform. And don't worry, there's something for …
By Jamie Primeau

The 5 Rom-Coms You Need To Read This Summer, According To Someone Who Writes Them

'Tis the season for rom-coms. The weather is warm, the sun is shining, and everyone is rocking the flirtiest items in their wardrobe. I don't know about you, but summer always takes me back to my teenage years — and that automatically makes me want t…
By Cristina Arreola

11 Tiny Sunglasses That Will Make You Look Even Cooler Than Kylie Jenner

You know what they say — the tinier the sunglasses, the more stylish the outfit. OK, that's not really a saying, but it seems to be the case these days. Basically every celebrity, model, and It person has been spotted sporting tiny sunglasses as part…
By Sara Tan

9 Ways This Royal Wedding Was Way More Modern Than Past Ones

The newly named Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, made history with their storybook courtship and wedding. What's more, there are myriad ways the royal wedding 2018 was more modern than previous royal weddings. From deciding…
By Brandi Neal

10 Little-Known British Traditions Meghan Markle Will Learn When She Marries Prince Harry

As an American woman dating a Brit, I am no stranger to the mishaps that can result from the cultural differences between the U.S. and England. And while I'm sure Meghan Markle has a slew of royal traditions to learn, titles to remember, and fancy ha…
By Kristin Magaldi

I've Paid $18,000 To A $24,000 Student Loan, & I Still Owe $24,000

It all became real the summer before my senior year of college. It was 2010, and my home phone still had a cord, which I wrapped around my fingers as I waited not-so-patiently for the apathetic representative on the other end to tell me the bad news …
By Kaitlyn Cawley

12 Personality Quizzes That Will Help You Determine Your Exact Strengths

Learning more about yourself can be tough. It's so easy to observe others to learn what makes them tick, what areas they really excel in, and the things they could be better at. Doing that to yourself, however, is a whole different story. That's exac…
By Jessica Booth

5 Brand New Short Story Collections You Can Finish In One Sitting This Weekend

Since 2013, May has been known by book-lovers by another name: Short Story Month. If you're ready to kick off this year's celebration the right way, make sure to pick up a short story collection to read over the weekend. Modern life moves more than …
By Sadie Trombetta

I Got Styled By 'Queer Eye's Tan France & Realized I Still Have A Lot Of Fashion "Rules" To Unlearn

When I walked into a New York City Express store on May 2 to get styled by Queer Eye's Tan France, I was ready for anything. And I mean truly anything. I am such a massive fan of the show and Tan that if he had instructed me to wrap myself in tin foi…
By Olivia Muenter

It Isn’t Bad To Have A “Princess Fantasy” — Mine Made Me The Woman I Am Today

What do you want to be when you grow up? If you were anything like me as a kid, at some point, the answer to that question was "a princess." Thanks to good old-fashioned gender stereotypes, most little girls born in the '90s (and even now) grew up in…
By Nicole Pomarico

Here’s How To Get A FREE 30-Minute Facial At Sephora That Sucks Your Pores Clean

Sephora has long been a mecca for both serious and amateur beauty lovers alike, where they not only have makeup artists that help answer questions about products, but free samples to let you play with new collections. But now they have upped the ante…
By Marlen Komar

Kris Jenner Is FINALLY Launching A Makeup Line With Kylie

Maybe you don't have a favorite sister of the Kar-Jenner clan, and that's perfectly fine. The one thing you can't deny, though, is that when it comes power, no one in that family has more than the world famous momager. Now, Kris Jenner x Kylie Cosmet…
By Shea Simmons

This Kendall Jenner “Diva” Moment Is Really Being Taken Out Of Context

The fashion always takes center stage at the Met Gala, but there's usually a little drama, too. And this time, a member of the Kardashian-Jenner family is involved. People are buzzing about how Kendall Jenner shoved someone at the Met Gala, but after…
By Nicole Pomarico

Feel Like You've Seen Everything On Netflix? Add These Movies To Your Watch List

The weekend may feel too far away, but if you're lacking formal plans, a Netflix marathon session is always a good idea. If you're an avid viewer, however, you probably feel like you've seen everything the streaming platform has to offer already. In …
By Ashley Rey

These 4 Zodiac Signs Are Going To Have The Best Luck In Love This May

Spring fever is here, but not all signs in the zodiac are dealt the same dose of lovin'. Some signs are going to have a better love lives than the rest of us in May, because that's just the way the cookie crumbles. According to astrologer Linda Furia…
By Kaitlyn Wylde

Hillary Clinton Says She's Ready To Fight Like A Republican — EXCLUSIVE

Hillary Clinton Is Not Going Away Quietly. Can Hillary Clinton Please Go Quietly Into The Night? Unlike Losers Before Her, Clinton Is Not Going Gently Into the Night. These headlines, which appeared in various news outlets over the course of the last…
By Catherine Thompson and Jenny Hollander

Here's The Very Best Time To Book Your Summer Vacation If You're Trying To Save Money

Summer is a great time to travel, for obvious reasons. The weather is better. Many offices are more lax about time off. If you have kids, they’re out of school. But there’s one very important element that makes summer not a great time to travel: Cost…
By Emma McGowan