No one should go about their life without knowing what precent "that b*tch" they are, and thankfully, Lizzo and Spotify released a “DNA test” to determine what percent “that b*tch” each and every one of us happens to be. (Well, almost each and every one of us— more on that in a second.) Running with the “Truth Hurts” line “I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that b*tch,” the music streaming service teamed up with the recording artist behind the lyric so fans far and wide could once and for all find out what percent "that b*tch" they are.
Lizzo first tweeted about the Spotify “DNA test” nearly two years ago, but given the present-day success of 2017’s “Truth Hurts” (it is currently all over the Billboard charts, it ruled at the 2019 MTV Video Music Awards Monday night, and so on), it seems like a fine time to revisit it.
The “DNA test,” which you can find here, is only available to Spotify subscribers. So, if you do not have a membership, that means you cannot officially find out what percent “that b*tch” you are. The test is made up of 10 questions, and yes, it is loaded with references to Lizzo’s lyrics. Before you can start answering the Qs, you must provide the test with a photo. Once that is taken care of, you are ready to find out what percent “that b*tch” you are.
The test looks to be pretty accurate, but it may not always be 100% (that b*tch) accurate: When Lizzo, who everyone knows is “100% that b*tch,” took it, she was told she is 93% that b*tch. According to math, 93% is not the same as 100%, but do you know what? It is close enough. Now, if the test tried to tell her she was, like, only 45% that b*tch, then we would have more than enough reason to question it. But it did not say that, so we can carry on.
Without giving too much away, here are some examples of what to expect when you take this "DNA test."
You Have To Choose What You Do Once Your Hair Is Done
Not sure how you're feelin', but this DNA test is feeling good as hell.
You Have To Choose Your "New Man"
Ready the fresh photos with the bomb lighting.
And You Have To Answer This Crucial Question
Think hard on it. And choose wisely. Because if you do not think hard on it and choose wisely, you may not get the results you hoped for. You may find out you are only 49% that b*tch.
The emojis say it all, now don't they?
Those are just three of the 10 Lizzo-tastic questions that the "DNA test" uses to calculate a that bitch level. If you are a Spotify user, you can see the rest of the questions and find out what percent that bitch you are. So what are you waiting for? Fair warning: The truth may hurt.