Pizza Is The Official Food Of One-Night Stands, Survey Finds, And Who Could Argue With That?
Whether it's before you have a one-night stand or after you've had sex and need nourishment, food is probably a good idea. I take that back. Food is a brilliantly, fantastic idea. Because what's better than sex and food? Nothing. In fact, a 2016 survey of 11,976 women and men by Havas Worldwide and Market Probe International found that 54 percent of Millennials firmly believe that sex and food are equally pleasurable, because of course. There's a reason why I live where I live in the East Village in New York City: my apartment is in the delivery zone of my three favorite pizza joints outside of Italy. If I'm not having sex, I'm being just as satisfied by one of these pizzas.
A recent survey by food delivery service Yelp Eat24 of 2,000 millennials across the United States, found the majority of people think that eating food with a one-night stand simply makes sense. However, for one-third of those polled, that food can only be takeout or delivery — because honestly, who wants to crawl out of bed to get food? Certainly no one who's hoping for round two with their one-night stand.
Although the survey found that women are more likely than men to think that getting food with a one-night stand should be off limits (because they don't live within my golden delivery zone, obviously), since the majority are chowing down with their flavor of the night, it's worth checking out what they're eating together. In descending order, from 10 to one, here are the best and most popular foods people are eating with their one-night stands.
In the tenth place, dim sum, according to those surveyed is the ideal food to have with a one-night stand. As to whether or not these one-night stand folks are getting it delivered or actually going out for proper dim sum which, when it comes to dim sum, is far more exciting, the survey didn't specify. Personally, I'm hoping these people are hitting up a dim sum place in Chinatown before hitting the sheets. There's nothing more delicious than food being wheeled around on tables so you can choose whatever you want — it might be just as exciting as sex, actually.
Pie. Seems rather random, doesn't it? Yet, here we are at number nine on the list of foods that people like to eat with their one-night stands. Pie. As for what kind of pie is the most preferred, apparently wasn't part of the survey. My vote is lemon chiffon. The name alone is pretty damn sexy.
Although I know there's a fart joke in here somewhere, because beans do have that effect, I'm going to take the mature route and not even try to come up with one. Instead, I'll get straight to the point: There are people out there who, either before or after a one-night stand, are eating burritos and, obviously, loving it.
YASSS. Curly fries with your one-night stand actually sounds more like the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Especially if you step it up and add cheese and chili to those fries.
Although a mouth full of spaghetti can be a little much (see Marnie there above) for a one-night stand, if you really give your romp everything you've got, those carbs are going to come in handy. So, yes, it makes sense that this would be on the list. Also, 24-hour diners are known for their subpar pasta dishes that magically taste like heaven at 4 a.m. after a night of drinking with your soon-to-be one-night stand.
While it seems like a random choice, sushi finds itself smack dab in the middle of this list in fifth place. I actually had sushi with a one-night stand once. But, in that scenario, it seemed like the best way to get him out of my apartment.
It should also be noted that if, (and that's a strong "if"), if you want to try to make your one-night stand into something a little bit more, Match's 2015 Singles in America report found that eating sushi boosts your chances of seeing someone again by 170 percent.
Messy, delicious, and reminiscent of every Super Bowl party you've ever gone to, wings have made it on this list — and above curly fries, surprisingly.
It may not be the most romantic or exciting food to share with a one-night stand (and I say this as an ice cream fiend, BTW), but as we inch toward the number one food, we find ice cream in third place. Not too shabby, ice cream.
I mean, had tacos not been in the top three, I wouldn't have just been shocked, but would have flipped this table and screamed out, "Humanity! What is wrong with you?!" Hitting up a taco truck before you and your one-night stand go home is just, well, a near-perfect situation.
Speaking of perfect...
As I wipe this tear of happiness from my eye, let's all take a moment to worship the greatness that is pizza.
OK, now that we've done that, let's look at the stats from the survey. Pizza, in addition to being man's greatest invention (even more so than that iPhone you can't put down), is regarded as the "official" food for a one-night stand, with three-quarters of Americans actually calling it the "perfect" food for that hot evening of NSA sex. Pizza and sex, it's just, well, I'm speechless at the thought of the two intermingling. All I know is I want them both. Right now. Together.
But the survey didn't stop with what people thought were the best one-night stand foods. It also found that 46 percent of those polled reported that someone's attractiveness was determined on their food preference and one in five people would politely say "no thanks," if they were offended by someone's eating habits.
So the lesson here is a simple one. If you're going to have a one-night stand, make sure it, ideally, involves pizza and you don't eat that pizza too loudly or with your mouth open. Sure, a one-night stand is one-time-thing situation, but that doesn't mean someone can't say "bye Felicia" before the sex, because you opt for, say, 4 a.m. potato salad that you eat with your mouth wide open. Just food for thought.