The Recurring Long-Term Relationship Problem You're Likely To Experience, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
When it comes to astrology, each zodiac sign can have things they're naturally good at, as well as a few traits that can make their life tricky. And the latter may be at the root of recurring long-term relationship problems. Whether it's an issue that keeps cropping up in their current relationship, or one that follows them around, noticing it is key.
"Everyone can overcome whatever their patterns are based in their [astrology] chart," Ruby Wolfe, an astrologer with over twenty years of experience, tells Bustle. "That's the point of astrology — personal growth." So if certain problem has become a pattern, picking up on that is actually a good thing.
Also, "each sign has numerous qualities that might just as easily show up in a functional/balanced way versus a dysfunction/imbalanced way," Julie McGill, an astrologer who specializes in sex and relationships, tells Bustle. What might be problematic for one person may not be problematic for another, which is why it would be necessary to look at more than just a person's sun sign, McGill says, in order to get a solid idea about their strengths and weakness.
That said, here's what each sign has the potential to struggle with the most in relationships, according to experts, as well as how they can strike a better balance.
1. Aries (March 21 - April 19): Crossing Boundaries
"At the core, it is the Aries’ fiery and spontaneous nature that gets them into trouble," McGill says. They often make decisions that seem right in the moment without considering how it might impact their partner — and that can lead to misunderstandings.
"This impulsiveness comes across as selfishness when they forget to think about the other person before they act," McGill says. "The key to improvement is not taking the impulsiveness out of the Aries. That’s impossible. The Aries must learn to make it work for their relationship by learning about their partner and discovering the ways in which they can express themselves spontaneously without crossing a relationship boundary."
2. Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Being Controlling
Taurus has a pretty solid idea of how they want their life to look, and are all about creating and maintaining a certain level of security. But it's not uncommon for their partner to get wrapped up in the process, and feel a bit lost — or even controlled — as a result.
""It’s OK to aim for a stable life with a reliable partner," McGill says. "[But the] Taurus must mainly be cautious that goal does not cross into monotony, materialism, or depriving the partner of their individuality." If they keep this tendency in mind, and try to keep things balanced, it'll be less likely to lead to problems in their relationships.
3. Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Being Inconsistent
"Inconsistency is often a major issue for Gemini in a relationship," Wolfe says. And it can be at the root of many recurring problems.
For example, "one day they're tuned into their partner and the next day they're focused on themselves," Wolfe says, which is something that can leave their partner feeling confused.
"When this type of hot/cold behavior is pointed out they can totally tune out and lack the emotional attention needed to validate their partner," Wolfe says. But this is a pattern they can break, if they'd like.
"To address these concerns Gemini can focus on empathy, listening skills, communicating their emotions, and recognizing their tendency to oscillate their attention," Wolfe says.
4. Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Being Unpredictable
Cancer's relationship problems often stem from swift mood changes, which can shift easily. And that's why, as Wolfe says, "it's healthiest for them to set good boundaries and open up about their sensitive and shifting mood."
Once they talk about what's on their mind, and realize their partner won't judge them, "they're much more likely to share when they need alone time or extra attention," Wolfe says. That way their partner will know what to do, and won't be left guessing.
5. Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): Needing Validation
Leo's relationship mishaps may have something to do with their need for validation, which can be an intense drive for this sign. They often assume the worst, Wolfe says, or feel as if they've been forgotten about. And it's this insecurity that can be damaging.
As Wolfe says, it may cause their partner to feel drained, or as if they're never doing enough. But if Leo focuses on their own personal growth, she says, and putting love into themselves, they may notice this issue starts to fade away.
6. Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Being Judgmental
"Virgos are the great information analysts of the zodiac," McGill says. "They gather information and assign meaning to it. While this is a helpful skill in some areas of life, it also makes them very finicky in relationships and with relationship partners."
It can also make them a bit judgmental and nit-picky. "They have so many rules about what they are looking for and can be judgmental when they see something that turns them off," she says.
That's why, for Virgo, they may do well to learn to go with the flow and to give people a chance, McGill says. In doing so, they might bring more positivity to their relationship, which is always a good thing.
7. Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): Forgetting About Themselves
Libra represents partnerships in the zodiac. And while that's wonderful, their strong desire to ensure things remain 100% fair and harmonious can get them into trouble.
"This can manifest in several ways, sometimes as too much willingness to put their own desires aside for the sake of the partnership," McGill says. "Other times, the Libra is so stuck on an ideal that they are continually weighing whether the partnership feels 'equal.'"
Ironically, this can lead to an unfair and unbalanced relationship, which is why McGill says "the lesson for the Libra is recognize a healthy level of give and take."
8. Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Struggling To Forgive
"Scorpios value loyalty above all else," McGill says. "Many times, wrongs committed against a Scorpio evolve into questions of loyalty, making them suspicious." And they can have a tough time moving on and forgiving.
While that's understandable to a degree, they may notice that their relationships become difficult, if they aren't willing to let go. "The trick is for the Scorpio to realize that when one is so acutely testing of anything — like loyalty in this instance — they are bound to find what they are looking for," McGill says. "The Scorpio must learn that love trumps fear."
9. Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Feelings Of Insecurity
Sagittarius' relationship problems tend to stem from their desire to be on the move and finding new things, McGill says. "They just enjoy the chase," she says, "so as you might imagine, it is in this sign of the zodiac that we find a lot of wandering and aiming outside the relationship."
If a Sagittarius is looking for a stable relationship, this trait can make it difficult for them to attain any sense of security. So, if they'd like to make a change, they'll have to strike a balance between being happy where they are, McGill says, while also finding ways to go after external pursuits.
10. Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Never Finding Balance
Capricorn is an incredibly driven sign, and often has a lot of success within their career. But they may find it difficult to give their relationship the same level of attention. As Wolfe says, "They'll get into a relationship and never shift their over-worked hustle or schedule."
This is because they value practicable achievements, McGill says, which might mean, "Capricorn is unavailable to partners, either because they do not give much priority to relationships and emotional connection or cannot approach those things with ease."
While it can be tricky at first, "Capricorns can work on letting loose and making time for their relationship," McGill says. It is possible for them to have success at work and also maintain a relationship, by striking a better work/life balance.
11. Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Seeming Detached
"For sure, Aquarius brings good vibes to the party. They are fun and somehow find a way to stand out while fitting in," McGill ways. But when it comes to relationships, they can seem aloof, and it can get in the way of them forming a deeper bond with their partner.
"The partner might wonder if the Aquarius is in or out or even cares," she says. "The Aquarius must emphasize their efforts to make their partner feel loved. Intimately."
They can do this while keeping up their social lives, since that's so important to them, while also making their partner feel secure.
12. Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20): Being Impractical
Pisces can be a very empathic and caring sign; two things that make them great partners. "But it is also common for the Pisces to suffer some difficulty dealing with reality or the practical aspects of life," McGill says. "This could cause many types of problems in relationships," including a sense that they're never quite on the same page as their partner.
To turn things around, "the Pisces person should seek to understand the ways in which they might approach life [impractically] and seek to cope with the parts of life they would rather avoid, in healthy ways," she says.
Because remember, any traits that seem to cause set backs can be balanced out, with a little effort. Nothing's ever set in stone when it comes to astrology. So while these signs may notice recurring relationship problems, they don't have to remain stuck in that pattern forever.