Does it seem like you find yourself falling into the same issues in your relationship over and over again? If you're wondering
how to break your relationship pattern, your zodiac sign might be a surprisingly helpful resource for figuring out what mistakes you're making again and again. According to an astrology expert, your sun sign can say a lot about the way you act in your relationship with your partner.
"Since the zodiac sign is the sun sign (the constellation the sun was in when a certain person was born), it determines the true core of a person, as well as their drive and ambition," Narayana Montufar, senior astrologer at
Horoscope.com and Astrology.com, tells Bustle. "The sun indicates how we assert our purpose, make judgments, and integrate self-awareness." All of these qualities will have a major impact on your relationships, so knowing how your mind works can help you break any unhealthy patterns you might notice in yourself.
Before you can start to
break a pattern, you have to be aware of how your tendencies can affect how you treat your partner. For example, maybe your perfectionism makes you pick fights about small details which really aren't important in the grand scheme of things. Or maybe your inability to ask for help when you need it makes it difficult for you to get truly close to your partner and get support from them.
Here is your relationship pattern based on your zodiac sign, according to an astrology expert.
Aries (March 21 - April 19): Being In Control
As an Aries, you're likely to be competive. But this characteristic doesn't just show up when you're playing board games or running a race. "From who gets to shower first, to who makes more money or has more IG followers, Aries always wants be first," Montufar says. Wanting to be in a position of power could be a pattern for you in relationships, whether that means always wanting to be the one who picks up the check on date night or being the partner who has the final say when it comes to big decisions in your relationship. Try to be intentional about stepping aside on a regular basis and letting your partner "win" more than just once in a blue moon.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Prioritizing Expensive Gestures
"Beauty-seeking Taurus loves the good things in life," Montufar says. "Being ruled by Venus means becoming quite obsessive with all pleasure-related things, which can quickly turn into a decadent relationship." For you, this might mean that you insist on going to a fancy restaurant every time you and your partner go out, or maybe you find yourself disappointed if their gifts to you aren't as lavish as you would like.
Break this pattern by looking for joy in the simple things of your relationship, whether that means truly savoring a dinner of homemade pancakes or making a DIY anniversary gift for your partner that's much more emotionally meaningful than it is costly.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Not Being Honest About Your Emotions
As a Gemini, you might find it easy for you to fall into the routine of becoming a people-pleaser in your relationships. "Ruled by Mercury, this optimism-infused sign will sometimes tell their partner what they want to hear and not how they really feel," Montufar says. But in a romantic relationship, being honest about your feelings is crucial to building a healthy partnership, so finding the courage to speak your truth is important. "The best way to break this pattern is to commit to doing the work and not hiding from getting deep or going below the surface when it’s necessary," she says.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Staying In Every Night
For some folks, nothing sounds better on a weekend evening than hitting the town with their partner and exploring all of the restaurants, shows, and shops that their city has to offer. As a Cancer, though, this might not ring true for you. You might be more likely to think of Netflix and takeout as the ideal date night. "Cancer needs a lot of TLC, which is fine as long as they are with someone who is also a homebody," Montufar says. "Getting out of their comfort zone and opening their shell to the world can be nerve-wracking," she says, "but it surely can be exciting and life-changing for them and their partners."
Leo (July 23 - August 22): Focusing Only On Yourself
As a Leo, you probably have no trouble sharing your larger-than-life personality with anyone else who's in a room with you. But
in a relationship, this focus on yourself can sometimes cause a problem. "Ruled by the mighty Sun, Leos have a hard time not being the center of their universe," Montufar says. "And, to be honest, they are pretty amazing. However, when it comes to a relationship, this gets old real quick." If you find yourself always needing to monopolize the conversation with your partner, or get upset when they spend time with their friends instead of you, do your best to take a back seat for a while. Try to really give your partner the space to show you what makes them amazing.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Perfectionism
When it comes to many parts of your life, being a stickler for getting little details right can be a huge strength. If you're giving a presentation at work or school, for example, making sure that everything is prepared demonstrates your abilities. But in a relationship, this kind of demand for getting everything right can be a problem. "Perfection is Virgo’s obsession, and their partner’s worst nightmare," Montufar says. "Letting loose and letting go will not only help their relationships but their lives in general." This can be easier said than done, but one way to encourage yourself to relax a bit is to let your partner plan your activities and meals together every once in a while.
Libra (September 23 - October 22): Avoiding Conflict
As a Libra, you can have a really pleasant personality, and probably aren't one to pick fights with your partner. While this kind of avoidance can make you less likely to get into a yelling match in your relationship, it isn't always a healthy thing. "What happens when things go wrong? [Libras] may become passive-aggressive while attempting to steer clear of conflict," Montufar says. If you regularly find yourself being hesitant to bring up something that's bothering you with your partner, try to rethink the way that you deal with conflict. Although taking the quieter route might seem easier, it will really benefit you to bring up issues as they arise and face them head on.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): Fear Of Losing Their Partner
It's definitely normal to want your partner to stay committed to you throughout your relationship. But as a Scorpio, you might fall into a pattern of taking this impulse to an extreme. Though Scorpio was born to lead, they should be mindful of being too controlling, Montufar says. Being scared that your partner might stop loving you or decide to end your relationship can cause you to smother them a bit. "The best thing a Scorpio can do to break this pattern is let their partner be and do their own thing once in a while," she says.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): Getting Bored
In the early days of dating someone, every touch, word, and moment can feel electric.
As a relationship progresses, however, some of this spark can calm down a little bit. "As a fire sign, Sags can get addicted to the thrill of the chase and constantly jumping from one relationship to the next," Montufar says. As a Sagittarius, you might find yourself feeling an itch to find someone new after you hit a certain point in each relationship. But if you're devoted to your partner, you can fight this impulse and break the pattern. Keep things interested by trying new activities with your partner and switching things up in the bedroom, she says.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Following Tradition
"Capricorns love family and put a lot of stock in traditions, which sometimes can turn into a restrictive and repetitive pattern for their loved ones," Montufar says. As a Capricorn, this can mean that you insist on always going to the same restaurants, watching the same movie genres, or going to the same place on vacation. But this can be difficult for your partner, not to mention keep you from discovering amazing new things you love. "Breaking rules, changing plans, and [being spontaneous] once in a while is the best way of making the relationship a lot more fun for their partner," she says.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Never Asking For Help
It can be hard for anyone to ask for help, whether it's for something as small as needing a ride to work to something as serious as needing support for a mental health condition. As an Aquarius, it can be even more difficult for you to lean on a partner when things get tricky. "Individualist Aquarians dance to the rhythm of their own drum, sometimes leaving no room for another person in their busy social lives," Montufar says. "Being open about their needs in a relationship from the get-go can certainly help smooth things out when it comes to love."
Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Being Co-Dependent
The longer you are in a relationship with someone, the more you tend to begin sharing interests, phrases of speech, and maybe even clothes. But as a Pisces, you might have the tendency to meld with your partner even more than other signs would. "Enchanting and hypnotizing Pisces tends to merge and become one with their loved-one, often leading to poor boundaries and confusion," Montufar says. Maybe this means you have trouble doing things on your own, or perhaps you don't make space to see your friends without your partner there too. Schedule alone time into your life to check in with yourself and indulge in a little bit of self-care.
No matter what pattern seems to follow you every time you're in a relationship, know that it doesn't have to cause problems for you again and again. Simply being aware of your tendencies can help you brainstorm strategies to break any bad habits so that you can be free to enjoy your relationship with your partner.