What Singles Are Lying About On Dates Today
My big lie that I tell on dates is that I'm younger than I am. Granted, I don't pass myself off as 25, despite being mid-30s, but I do like to say I'm 31. Sometimes 30. And once or twice 29. Why? I don't know. A fear of getting old, I guess. But according to Match's 2017 Singles in America survey, I'm not alone. So that's a relief.
Although the survey found that 57 percent of singles don't tell white lies on a date, which is probably a good idea, there are, of course, those who do. Once you tell one lie, you end up telling another lie, and frankly, if you're lying about your age and saying you're 29, but are bad at math then have no idea when you were supposed to be born — 1990? 1991? 1986? —you will be found out. Someone get me a calculator.
When it comes to lies that people tell, age actually isn't on the top of the list. What is, however, is pretty scary: Sexual history. While your number of past partners is your business alone, if you have an STI and don't disclose it, at least by the time you get into bed with someone, that's not OK. There's a reason the saying, "Liar, liar, pants on fire exists."
Here are the top lies that singles tell on dates.
1Their Sexual History
At 19.2 percent, sexual history is the biggest lie people tell. As for what part of their sexual history they're lying about or are just simply omitting from the conversation, whether it's how many partners they're have or it's about their sexual health, the survey doesn't say, but it does suggest that if you're hiding something in regards to your STI status, you better get that out there by the third date.
2Their Dating History
While I live by the Chuck Palahniuk theory, "Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known," meaning I know I wouldn't be the person I am today without the people I've met — romantically and otherwise — others don't feel the same. For 17.6 percent, lying about their dating history just feels like the best way to go. Although I guess we all have that one person we'd like to forget.
3Their Finances And Job
For 11.8 percent of people, lying about finances seems to be essential on a date, while 6.2 lie about their job. Men tend to lie more, with 29 percent lying about their financial situation and 32 percent lying about the job — which is a dumb idea. One quick look at LinkedIn and that lie is revealed immediately. Then there goes your chance at a second date.
I feel like this is also a good place to point out that 27 percent of male liars and 17 percent of women liars get found out thanks to social media.
4Where They Live
Unless you're still living at home, with your mom still doing your laundry and dad still handing over a weekly allowance (which sounds awesome actually), then where you live shouldn't really matter. But as the study found, 9.9 percent lie about where they live. So you're just never going to have that person you're dating over... ever? Or rent a nice Airbnb every time you do?
Oh, look! It's my crew! According to the survey 8.8 percent of people lie about their age, although there isn't a break down of this by gender, which I think would be interesting. I once went on a date with someone who told me he was 35. As I stared across the table at him, I knew there was no way this guy was 35. No. Way. As he had more wine, he confessed he was 22. Technically, I was old enough to be his mom — technically.
The survey also found that gay and bisexual singles are more likely to lie about their age than straight singles, at 44 and 56 percent, respectively.
6Their Interests And Hobbies
OK, I get it: One of your hobbies is collecting dirty socks that you've stolen from the gym and just don't want to reveal that part of yourself to your date yet. Totally understandable. But if you're not collecting dirty socks, why someone would lie about their interests and hobbies is actually more interesting than perplexing. However, 8.2 percent do it. I'm also thinking the Nickelback fans might be in this group.
For 2.6 percent of people, keeping the fact that they have kids under wraps is important. As for just how long they can keep this lie afloat probably has the shelf life of, oh, two dates, it doesn't stop that small percentage from lying about it.
While having a divorce on your record is, for some, on par with the Scarlet Letter, it's important to realize that divorce is really common! It's also important to realize that it takes a certain level of strength to look your relationship in the face, see it's not working, and call it quits. That being said, dear 2.1 percent who are lying about being divorce, consider yourself courageous for having walked away instead of trying to make something work that's beyond repair; divorce is nothing of which to be ashamed.
It may seem simple to lie and you may even be able to justify it, but the fact of the matter is that you will eventually be found out. Can I tell guys forever I'm 29? Probably not. At some point, like when I'm 80, it's going to be pretty effing clear that I am not 29; besides, lying gets you nowhere.
As Match's Chief Scientific Advisor, Dr. Helen Fisher explains, “Those who tell white lies are no more likely to get a second date; no more likely to have gone on a date in the last year; and no more likely to have had sex.” Yes you read that correctly: No more likely to have had sex. So, for the sake of your sex life, maybe it's time to come clean.