Until I first watched porn, I didn't realize making noise during sex was a thing. All my masturbation sessions were silent, and I'd never felt a need to make a peep. But when I started hooking up with partners, I came to feel like having silent sex wasn't an option.
I'd see the expectant look in their eyes, asking "am I doing it right?" I knew they wanted the answer to be "yes," so I'd moan and groan to show my gratitude. But instead of helping me communicate, sex noises disconnected me from my partners. They weren't always genuine, and even if I truly was enjoying myself, expressing it that way didn't feel true to me.
It wasn't until I got to know my current partner that I gave myself permission to turn down the volume. He's quiet himself, and I realized I wasn't judging him for it. We don't tend to judge men for this kind of thing. Double standard much? Plus, he knows what I like well enough that I don't have to worry about guiding him with my voice. We've discussed the pressure I feel to put on a show, and he's reassured me that he enjoys himself without one.
Finally, I've come to embrace who I am: a quiet bedfellow. I think that's a hard realization for some people to come to — especially women, since we're taught that our vocalizations are a turn-on and that our job is to turn on our partners. But I've since learned that silent sex is actually awesome, and here are five reasons why.