Even if you’re not a hug person, you’ve got to admit that it can sometimes be nice to make contact with people that you care about. And if you’re in a relationship in which you and your partner are basically joined at the hip at all times, then you probably share a physical touch love language.
The five love languages were created by pastor and author Gary Chapman and define the different ways in which people prefer to give and receive love — through words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, or physical touch. While it’s fun to learn what your love language is — much like taking a personality quiz — it can actually benefit you, too. “When you understand your own love language, you are better able to get your needs met in a relationship,” says licensed professional counselor Stephanie Camins. “On the flip side, understanding your partner’s love language will assure that your feelings are being communicated to your partner.”
Whether you’re always holding hands while out running errands, cuddling when watching TV together, or you and your S.O. find physical intimacy to be the best way to show each other affection, there are certain benefits of having the same love language as your partner. Read on for everything you want to know about the compatibility between two partners with a physical touch love language.
Physical Touch & Physical Touch Sexual Compatibility
As you can probably imagine, two partners who both share a physical touch love language tend to have great physical attraction and chemistry with one another. This can definitely translate into the bedroom and heighten their sex life, and Camins says this can make it easier to express the attraction they share. She also notes that intimacy can come in many forms — beyond just sex. “Physical touch is also holding hands, sitting next to each other, putting a hand on your partner’s leg or an arm around their shoulder,” she says. “Even a knowing look can be physical.” TL;DR? This pair is sure to have those butterflies fluttering on the reg.
Physical Touch & Physical Touch Emotional Compatibility
While an arm around your shoulder or a sweet kiss can be a great way to feel loved by your partner, Camins says that touch can amplify the other ways affection is already being communicated for this love language in particular. “For a physical touch person to feel emotional intimacy, they need to ‘hear’ it in their preferred language: touch,” Camins tells Bustle. “You can say all the right words, but if you’re physically standoffish, the words won’t land the way you want them to. Reaching for your partner’s hand while telling them how you feel will deliver your message with more impact.”
Physical Touch & Physical Touch Communication
Everyone knows that communication is one of the most important skills to master for a healthy relationship. With two physical touch love languages, communication is done through tough — which is just as valid as other forms of connecting with one another. “Understanding that communication is more than just words is the magic sauce that makes the sparks fly,” says Camin. People who share the same love language have a leg up in the communication department, she says, since that commonality makes communication flow more easily between them — and that applies to physical touch just as much as other love language types.
Physical Touch & Physical Touch Dating Compatibility
When two romantic partners share a physical touch love language, they are likely to find a sense of ease and mutual understanding in their relationship. Having the same love language makes them more easily able to empathize and express themselves to one another because they know what the other needs. “As a physical touch person myself, being in a relationship with another physical touch person feels more secure and comfortable,” says Camins.
At times, a person with a physical touch love language may have trouble finding words — but a touch can evoke what they might not be able to say at a given moment, she explains. “There is a natural ebb and flow in this unsaid communication that is comforting and connecting,” says Camins. “To have a partner who gets this on a personal level is the ultimate form of intimacy.”
Physical Touch & Physical Touch Friendship Compatibility
Sex aside, even two platonic friends can enjoy the benefits of sharing the same love language. Camins says that your love language transcends the type of relationship you’re using it in, so your friendships can certainly be strengthened if you and one or more of your besties likes physical touch as much as you do. “A meaningful relationship is about knowing and respecting each other’s preferred method of giving and receiving love,” she tells Bustle. “Friends with a physical touch love language give the best hugs!”
Potential Problems In A Physical Touch & Physical Touch Relationship
Although two partners who have the same love language may have it easier in many aspects of their relationship, it doesn’t mean that there will never be issues. If there’s a conflict or argument between two physical touch love language partners, having a physical disconnection from the other can exacerbate the situation and make them feel alone. “For a person who has this love language, not having enough touch can feel like emotional abandonment,” says Camins. “It’s difficult for them to have intimacy when touch throughout the day is ignored.” Even if you’re upset or frustrated with each other, sharing a reassuring physical touch with your S.O. in this case can help lessen the chances of them feeling shut off from you.
Are Physical Touch & Physical Touch A Good Match?
Sexual compatibility may seem like the strongest bond in a physical touch love language pairing, but Camins says there are so many other elements that can make this a healthy and loving partnership — even when both partners want physical intimacy. “Loving sex or being highly sexual doesn’t necessarily mean physical touch is your love language,” she says. “Even if it’s a long hug, a platonic cuddle sesh with a good friend, or holding hands with your partner, sharing a physical touch love language can definitely lead to plenty of love and appreciation in any relationship.”
Stephanie Camins, licensed professional counselor