Barbara Walters' Most Fascinating People Spill Their Most Fascinating Secrets

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Barbara Walters knows fascinating: She's had a stranglehold on the word and its image for the 20 years she's been talking about it on television during her special: Barbara Walters Presents: The Most Fascinating People of The Year. It's true! And in her annual special, the matriarch of television journalism managed to talk about not just her top 10 most fascinating people of 2013, but also the myriad of others cherry-picked to embody the year from which they'd been plucked. They talked about Nelson Mandela, Courtney Love, and Bill Clinton. There were glimpses of interviews with Ginger Spice, Paris Hilton, Joel Osteen, and Queen Of All Things, Beyoncé. It was — dare I say it — a fascinating affair.

But nothing was quite as fascinating as the fascinating people themselves. These interesting people who've made their mark on what it meant to exist in the world in 2013. There were actresses with movies to promote, politicians with campaigns to prep, and even a religious figure! Truly original and fascinating choices, right? So new, different, and groundbreaking for the show and definitely not at all a regurgitation of everything we've already had our fill of this year thus far.

For those of you that managed to miss out on all of the fun, though: Hold little fear in your hearts, because we've done you a service. Indeed, we've compiled right here a list of the creme de la creme of fascinating factoids, awe-inspiring observations, and even a bit of Kimye nonsense to boot. (Because it's fun! And also because it's amusing to see Barbara Walters so confounded by another human being's mere existence while still trying to have some decorum about it.) And the announcement of their full-circle-y choice for Most Fascinating Person of 2013: 1993's Most Fascinating Person, Hillary Clinton.

So without further ado, here are the most fascinating things about the most fascinating people in this, the most fascinating year on the most fascinating world in the most fascinating universe. It's damn-near fascinating, isn't it?

What's so fascinating about Miley Cyrus?

  • She has no regrets.
  • She wants people to talk about her...
  • But she doesn't want people to like her just because she's famous.
  • She wants to wear more clothes in 2014.

What's so fascinating about Prince George?

  • He was born this year.
  • He has a long time to wait to be king.
  • He is the culmination of things, not an actual human baby.
  • He was not interviewed, because he's a baby.

What's so fascinating about Edward Snowden?

  • He is still the guy who told the NSA's secrets to everyone.
  • People still don't know if they should care or not.
  • He may have done a very good thing, or a very bad thing.
  • He's in hiding from the wrath of Putin who wants him to shut his trap already if he wants to stay in Russia.

What's so fascinating about the cast of Duck Dynasty?

  • Their interview was the most fascinatingly timed one of them all, considering.
  • Uncle Si is either a rosebud or a prune.
  • Phil Robertson was conveniently not there, because of duck-hunting season.
  • They make a lot of money, sell a lot of material objects, but are not materialistic.

What's so fascinating about Kimye?

  • They are accompanied everywhere they go almost exclusively by circus music. (That might just be in this segment, but it's hard to tell.)
  • Babs doesn't seem to understand why they're on the list, but she does know quite clearly why they weren't interviewed by her person.
  • "And their music video, which features Kim acting."
  • Their love burns so bright it hurts your eyes.

What's so fascinating about Robin Roberts?

  • She is a true survivor and hero worth idolizing, young ladies.
  • She is a trailblazer, hard-worker, and inspiration to us all.
  • She will make you cry with her incredibly insightful attitude.
  • There was totally a reason she was placed after Kimye.

What's so fascinating about Pope Francis?

  • He is the coolest pope to have ever existed.
  • Aww shucks, he's been in love!
  • He was probably too busy being selfless and/or washing people's feet to sit down with Barbara for an interview.
  • He was a papal late-bloomer, joining the cloth at age 32.

What's so fascinating about Jennifer Lawrence?

  • She knows pizza fixes everything. (Especially fat-shaming.)
  • She hates that you all ask her is how and why she's normal.
  • She can feel you looking at her weird and it makes her uncomfortable.
  • She eats in bed and wants a minivan.

What's so fascinating about Hillary Clinton?

  • She smiles whenever talking about the presidency. The smile of an overeager but well-meaning magical Kewpie doll.
  • She will "decide" sometime next year about her potential run.
  • She revealed that ladies (on both sides) were the ones to stop the shutdown, because of course.
  • Barbara would not ask her about her hair, which meant this was a win for scrunchies, and also everyone.