5 Signs Your Social Media Relationship With Your Ex Is Unhealthy
It's a bit of an understatement to say that the internet has changed the dating game, but social media affects your relationship with your ex, too. Rather than asking someone out after making eyes from across the room, you can Instagram stalk them, find their Twitter handle and tweet them, or friend them on Facebook. Or if you do meet someone in person, there are several forums of recon you need to search through before you actually decide if you like them. Do they post politically ignorant things on Facebook? Are their Instas mostly of them shirtless? Do I have to worry about them Snapchatting me premature nudes?
But as complicated as social media has made dating, it's made breakups even worse. Before, we could cut our exes off without having any sort of connection to what they're doing in their present lives. Now, we get updates in real time of how happy they are without us and we're left wondering if the selfie with that new chick means they're dating. But when do we cross the line between checking in on our ex every once and a while to obsessively tracking their every move? There are ways to tell that your social media relationship with your ex is unhealthy, and here are a few.
1. You Check All Their Accounts On The Reg
It's OK to look at your ex's profile every once and a while; I mean the temptation is there, and if they come up on your Newsfeed, you may not be able to resist clicking. But if you check their accounts regularly throughout the day, there may be a problem. By looking into your ex's every move, obsessing about what they're posting and what it could possibly mean will only waste your energy. And if you keep tabs on them and they do find someone new, you're only going to hurt yourself all over again.
Give yourself time to heal, and maybe unfollow them for a little bit. It sounds dramatic, but it may be able to help you move on.
2. There's A Little Heart Next To Their Name On Snapchat
Snapchat has come out with some seriously cryptic symbols that get tacked onto peoples' names based on how often you snap them. While I don't know what all of them mean, the heart is pretty obvious. I got that one the last time I sexted someone, so it can only mean one thing: You're sending an inordinate amount of pics to that person. If you and your ex are still snap friendly, whether you're keeping it light or you're sending some risque pics back and forth, you're not in a good space. Beware of what the little heart is telling you! It's a pretty blatant reminder that maybe you haven't moved on just yet.
3. You're The First Like On Most Of Their Instas
This one goes along with number 1. If you're watching their account obsessively and liking most of their 'grams, it's safe to say you're having a hard time breaking away from the situation. Whether it just so happens that you're their first like most of the time, or you watch their posts vigilantly to be the first like, you popping up constantly on their Newsfeed isn't a good thing. You may be inhibiting them from moving on, or keeping yourself from doing the same.
4. You'll Frequently Retweet Stuff They've Said To Get Their Attention
If you're interacting with your former bae on social media just so they get a little banner on their phone reminding them of your existence, we're in unhealthy waters here. Retweeting what your ex says once or twice because it's comical is fine. Retweeing constantly to show them you're still thinking about them is a pretty indirect way of giving a very obvious message: You still want to be in their life. Or, if you're replying with messages of your own you may be trying to instigate a fight. Either way, probably not the best move.
5. You Can't Help But Drop The Passive Aggressive Comment On A Status
It's not unheard of to be angry by everything your ex does after you breakup, especially if that breakup was bitter. But if you're spending your days picking fights on their status with passive aggressive comments then that's a different story. If you still have beef with your ex for any reason, talk with them directly, in person. Or you can simply leave them alone and let that resentment dissipate. Either way, the last thing you want is for the worldwide web to see your petty fight over how he doesn't know the difference between “your” and “you're.” Everybody knows that's not what you're really fighting about, anyway.
What would it take for you to unfollow someone on social media? We discuss unfollow horror stories & more on the latest episode of Bustle's The Chat Room. Listen here:
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