The One 2015 Celeb News Story From Each Month That You Must Remember Before Moving On To 2016
Another year, another slew of bizarre tales from the Hollywood Hills (and beyond). Of course, I'm not talking about the incredible milestones that were reached and obstacles that were hurdled in the past twelve months, like Viola Davis winning the Emmy for her performance on How To Get Away With Murder and Nicki Minaj confronting Miley Cyrus at the Video Music Awards with that one perfectly crafted question: "Miley, what's good?" Caitlyn Jenner shared her transition with the world; Adele broke records with her album sales. But of course, there were the stranger and more salacious celebrity news stories throughout 2015. Being famous has its consequences, and apparently one of those consequences is that you live in a simulacrum and do weird stuff that the entire world immortalizes on the internet.
From Shia Labeouf's livestreamed catharsis while watching his old films to the Kardashian-Jenners... just being themselves, 2015 was a year full of celebrity happenings that were bizarre, hilarious, or just plain weird to us normal folk. But if celebrities weren't surprising us at every turn, I would be out of a job. so, with that in mind, let's take a look back at the weirdest celebrity news from each month of 2015 (and trust me, it was difficult to narrow it down to a slim 12).
January: Khloe Kardashian Slams Scott Rumors On Twitter
As 2015 rang in, the best Kardashian sister, Khloe, seemed to make it her New Year's Resolution to stop taking crap from insidious haters. Obviously the Kardashian-Jenners and their various partners (Wests, Disicks) are the biggest targets for the rumor mill, but one particularly ugly one follows Scott, Kourtney's now-ex. He had been rumored to be having an affair with Khloe and, also, in January, with Kendall Jenner, who is all of 20 years old. Khloe tweeted about all the nonsense with equal parts humor about the situation and just the right amount of ire, mocking the absurdity of the rumors.
February: Iggy Azalea Vs. Papa John's
There was many a celebrity Twitter feud in 2015, like Nicki Minaj vs. Taylor Swift, Amber Rose vs. All The Kardashians, and of course. Drake vs. Meek Mill. But the most bizarre was Iggy Azalea's anger about pizza conglomerate Papa John's giving out her personal information. Hers was totally a legitimate response, since celebs shouldn't have to worry about privacy invasion when they're ordering 'za, but Azalea took it to the next level when she called out the pizza company on Twitter. It escalated in 30 minutes or less, with Azalea tweeting screenshots of text messages between her and delivery drivers, asking for their pictures to identity them.
March: Harrison Ford Crash Lands His Plane
This one is "weird" in the uncanny sense: art imitates life imitates art. Harrison Ford, who has played some of the most rugged heroes of our time (and who's coming back as the best of the best, Han Solo), became an IRL action hero when he crash-landed his plane.
The 72-year old Ford, who is an experienced pilot, survived the perilous incident after a malfunction over a golf course in Venice. Miraculously and thankfully, the real-life hero walked away from the crash. He was taken to the hospital, but his son Ben Ford assured Twitter followers that Ford was a little banged up, but still strong as ever. Would you expect anything less from Indy?
April: Madonna Makes Out With Drake
Madonna has had many controversial kisses in her career: Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and at Coachella 2015, Drake made that list. During Drake's set, Madge made a surprise appearance, and ratcheted the surprise factor from zero to 100 real quick when she planted a big kiss on Drizzy. He appeared to recoil, and his reaction will forever be frozen in time. (Unfortunately the incident led to a lot of sexist/ageist jokes about Madonna on Twitter, because people are the worst.)
May: Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" Music Feels Like Humblebragging
Taylor Swift releasing her “Bad Blood” music video wasn’t weird — it was the sheer scope of celebrities she got to star in it with her that was the bizarre part. Apart from her official, card-carrying squad members like models Cara DeLevingne and Gigi Hadid, titans like Mariska freakin' Hargitay, aka OLIVIA BENSON, were in tow. I usually don't feel jealous of T. Swift, but in this moment, I was overwhelmed with envy. And her "Bad Blood" alter-ego? Justice, of course.
June: Katy Perry Fights With Nuns Over Real Estate
This is my personal favorite story of the year. It's exactly how it sounds: Katy Perry decided, with her millions, she wanted to buy a beautiful, historical convent in Los Feliz, California, the former home of the Sisters Of The Immaculate Heart Of Mary. The problem: the nuns did not want their property going to Perry, but their archbishop did want to sell it to the pop star. Moral of the story: Nuns are not Katy Perry fans, and Katy Perry has an extra 15 million dollars to drop on a convent at any given moment.
Ah, some festive, weird news! Ariana Grande and #DoughnutGate came right in time for the Fourth of July. The pint-sized singer was caught on tape at Wolfee Donuts in California, licking donuts and declaring, "I Hate America." God bless. (The owners didn't end up pressing charges, and Grande apologized.)
August: Kanye 2020
At the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West proclaimed he is not just a god, but that in addition to Yeezus, he's planning to run for president in 2020. He announced his "bid" during an impassioned speech while accepting his Video Vanguard Award. Obviously, he has the financial backing, what with his own empire and the Kardashians behind him — and of course, they've showed total support of his White House dreams.
September: Justin Bieber Confesses
The weirdest Bieber news this year might be that his new tracks from his album Purpose are like... really, really good. Which I hate to admit. But even though the public is used to antics from the Biebz, he made a strange move in his apology campaign when he opened up for an intimate interview with Complex, admitting that he "still had scars" from his relationship with Selena Gomez, that, in retrospect, that monkey "was a bad idea," and that he "wanted to live like Jesus." Justin... I still don't know what you mean.
October: Chrissy Teigen Takes Us To FlavorTown
My favorite weird girl is Chrissy Teigen — a model, chef, John Legend's wife, soon-to-be mother, and all-around hilarious human being. But she really outdid herself when she dressed up like Guy Fieri for Halloween 2015. That's the kind of dedication to detail that I like. She is one of the most beautiful women in the world, but that costume is so bizarre and terrifying, like a work of art.
November: Shia LeBeouf #AllMyMovies
In 2014, LaBeouf decided he wasn't famous anymore. In 2015, he decided to livestream him and select fans watching every single one of his movies at the Angelika Theater in New York — just when you think he can't outdo himself, he surprises us all. Labeouf got surprisingly emotional during the screening, and all of his reactions were captured in a stream on NewHive, and live eternally in GIF form.
December: A Saint Is Born
Kimye named their new son Saint West, and it's weird, and it's beautiful, and it's perfect.
Cheers to the celebrities that made the world a weirder place in 2015! And here's to a new year of more bizarre, uncanny tales from Hollywood.