It's that time of year. Delicious pie, ridiculous extravagant light displays, disgusting, disgusting mulled wine (thanks a lot, England), and holiday sex. That's right— it's time to have holiday sex. Because between family fights, stressful dinners, disappointing presents, and just trying to stay warm, there is no better time to be going at it.
But you may not be. The holidays are a stressful time. With everything else going around going on, and holiday sweaters like mine that are more "last year's vegan gravy stains" than "sex goddess," sex can be the last thing on your mind. And it may not be better than gravy, but it's a pretty close second.
Most people love the holidays but it's also a time where you're constantly running around. Office parties, friend's celebrations, seeing your family— it's easy to never stop moving at this time of the year. And if you're in a relationship, you can feel like the two of you are running around trying to meet a million obligations rather than taking time for each other. So take a minute (well, ideally 20-30 minutes), chill out, and go at it — even if it means having sex when you're staying with your relatives.
And if you're going to have some holiday sexy time, here are the best eight sex positions to capture the spirit of the holidays, (no elf costume required... unless you want them to be):
1. Facing Each Other aka Festive Wreath
How You Do It: Have your partner cross their legs and then you climb on top and wrap your legs around them. It's really close and intimate, plus provides deep penetration that can last a long time.
Why It's Holiday-Approved: Because you're basically turning yourself into a holiday effing wreath, that's why. Your sex is an ornament. And you can both chill out after a hectic holiday and just ~be~.
2. Side By Side aka The Food Hangover
How You Do It: You may need a minute to get into this one, but it's worth it. Lay facing each other and then you put your leg over theirs, playing around with different heights (and lube) until you find the right angle for penetration, then enjoy lots of slow, sensual rocking.
Why It's Holiday-Approved: Because sometimes it's just more comfortable not to be on top after all that pie. Stay safe. Stay horizontal.
3. Girl On Top aka The Holiday Miracle
How You Do It: You know how to do it. Mix it up with putting your weight forward and using your hands to brace or lean backwards, or even turn around and go into reverse cowgirl. There are so many options and they're all amazing.
Why It's Holiday-Approved: Because their view of you on top is the only effing gift anyone needs.
4. Standing Up aka Our Little Secret
How You Do It: This is a tricky one, and unless you have the core strength of Superwoman after a week-long pilates bootcamp, I recommend you brace against a wall. Spread your legs slightly and lift up one leg, using something to stand on if your heights are really unequal.
Why It's Holiday-Approved: Because you're doing it in your parents' house and your bed springs creek like no other (seriously, it sounds like I'm breaking the house down) — or the pre-dinner chat about your student loans is so stressful you needed a quickie in the bathroom and laying down is not an option.
5. Reclining aka Thank God The Batteries Were Included
How You Do It: One of you lies back while the other positions in between her legs. There's plenty of room for hands and whatever else you have in mind, and it's great for clit stimulation.
Why It's Holiday-Approved: Because you need eight crazy nights with the new sex toy you bought your significant other, and this is the best position for you to vibe.
6. Sitting Facing aka The Holiday Throne
How You Do It: While one of you sits on the edge of a bed or a couch, the other sits on the floor for full access. Great for toys, tongue, hands— everything. And you both can relax a bit.
Why It's Holiday-Approved: Because by day six, you're both a bit tired and deserve to sit down and go for it. You'll be able to hold this position until you forget every uncomfortable thing said over family dinner.
7. Sideways Straddle aka The Holiday Treat
How You Do It: Have them lie down while you slide over one leg, facing their toes. It will take a little while to get into it (don't be scared of lube!) and as you straddle one leg, you can slide up and down. It's one of the best positions for female orgasm and offers a great view for you both.
Why It's Holiday-Approved: Because you've had a lot of time off over the holiday break and you should spend that time perfecting positions you've been meaning to get to. Also, your partner can have their food-coma and still be comfortable.
8. Spooning aka The Human Onesie
How You Do It: Get into your favorite cuddling position —you may need to move up a bit or down a bit to get the angle right and use your hands for guidance — and then you'll have the comfiest, warmest sex of your life. Lube recommended.
Why It's Holiday-Approved: Because I'm from New Hampshire and it gets to like -30 in December and the more skin-to-skin contact the lower the chances I freeze to death. Happy Holidays!
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to help him last longer:
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