I've made my thoughts about having shower sex very clear, I think it's overrated and soapy and and slippery and gross. Even in the best sex shower sex positions, where everything lines up personally, I think it's all underwhelming. But, just like my thoughts on peanut butter on a fork being an appropriate dinner, it turns out most of America disagrees completely. Shower makers Hansgrohe have surveyed 200 people on showering habits, and it turns out we're now showering solo. Or at least, most of us aren't.
Basically, there are a lot of us who like to have shower sex. Of those of us who are coupled up, 56 percent of us have used showers for what I would call "doing the sex in a homemade soapy slip and slide". Suit yourself, America. And it's not just couples who are getting together in the shower— 49 precent of all those surveyed have hopped into the shower with a partner, whether for sex or just a quick scrub down. And 16 percent of single people shower with a new partner to, and I quote, "woo while they wash" which just makes me picture a soaped up a human doing a bizarre peacock impression around the shower. Or maybe reciting sonnets with a shampoo mohawk. Or maybe dancing to the Time Warp while gargling body wash. I just. Don't. Know.
I'll never understand, but here's what I learned about showers, sex, and romance:
1. Younger People Are More Likely To Double Up
According to the survey, if you're younger, you're twice as likely to shower with a partner on the reg. Two thirds of 18- to 25-year-olds said that the regularly shower with a friend, but if you were in the 44-45 year old category the odds dropped to 32 percent. And who said Millennials are bad with money? We may buy pointless artisan beers but we'll save money on the water bill.
2. It's More Likely If You Live Together
Unsurprisingly, cohabitating couples are more likely to hop in the shower together, but the difference wasn't was as large as you might think. 58 percent of couples who lived together were likely to hop in the shower together, compared to 46 percent of couples who don't live together. But that's still nearly half of couples who don't live together, which I'm writing off to a lack of time in the morning rather constantly having shower sex. Who has that kind of time?
3. Solo Shower Sex Is Common, Too
The shower head was the first vibrator of at least half the girls I know. Considering "massage sprays" were the favorite shower head among 44 percent of women, my friends and I are apparently not alone.
4. No Matter How Good The Sex Is, We Still Like Showering Solo
Especially men — 79 percent of men and 75 percent of women reported seeking solitude in the shower. So while you should totally get frisky with some of the best shower sex positions, if that's your thing, it's still likely to remain a place we can steam up and relax.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:
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