This Is The Worst Place To Have Sex

What's the worst place to have sex? The answer probably stems from some terrible experience you've had (hello shower sex, my old friend), but we may have gotten a more objective answer. Ranker, which allows people to crowdsource rank basically everything in the world. And now, with over 32,000 votes, we may have the definitive answer to the worst place you could possibly have sex. And the answer is... the great outdoors. That's right, anywhere outside is basically our least favorite place to do it.

This doesn't really surprise me. I've been saying for a long time that beach sex is overrated (and downright painful). And where are you doing it outside that provides any level of comfort? Or lower back support? Plus, if you had your sexual awakening in rural New Hampshire like I did, you'll know that doing it anywhere near tree bark is a bad idea. That stuff scratches.

But that wasn't the only terrible place they listed. There are lots of different locations that don't put people in the mood at all— or at least gives them a leg cramp.

Here were other worst places to have sex, because sometimes I am right about everything:

The Shower

YESSSSS. That's right. The number two worst place to have sex was the shower— my nemesis. And may I point out that with over 1,000 votes it was a very close second. So basically, the general public agrees with me. Don't ever do it in the shower.

On The Floor

And just like that I'm wrong again. With over 900 votes apparently people hate doing it on the floor. I love doing it on the floor, which maybe means I need to thank my carpet guy.

In The Car

Again, with over 900 votes, people do not want to get busy in the backseat. And I'm back on board with this one, because I have had no desire to do it in the car since I was a horny teenager without many options after a high school play cast party in the backwoods. It never works out like you think and the positions end up being uncomfortable. You're an adult, go find a bed.

On A Counter

With 875 votes, the countertop rounded out the top five worst places to have sex. Which makes sense, because unless your heights line up exactly correctly, it's not only bad sex, it's downright impossible. I know I should be more adventurous, but some nice old fashioned, lying down, horizontal sex is always fine by me.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:

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