We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how to stimulate your partner's testicles.
Q: “I’ve never paid much attention to my boyfriend’s balls (or anyone's testicles for that matter). and never thought it was that big of a deal. The other day when my boyfriend and I were hooking up, he nervously asked me to play with his balls. I totally froze up because I had no idea what the heck to do. Testicles have always seemed so strange to me. I know they’re really sensitive, and I don’t want to hurt him. Any tips for what to do with balls?!”
A: Thanks for your question! Testicles can be perplexing to a lot of people who don't have them, but they’re really not that complicated. Testicles are so frequently left out of the fun that even the simplest licks or touches can leave the recipient breathless. Here are the dos and don’ts of playing with your partner's balls, plus some ideas for how to stimulate them.
Do: Pay Attention To Them
Even if your partner hadn’t explicitly asked you to play with their balls, I would still recommend any sexual partner getting familiar with their significant other's testicles, assuming they're cool with it. Of course, everyone is different, but many people enjoy having their balls touched, licked, and played with. There are nerve endings there, after all.
Don’t: Body Shame Them
A lot of people who don't have testicles might think that balls look "funny" or "weird," so balls wind up being the brunt of a lot of teasing. But please remember to treat your partner’s body the same way you would want them to treat yours. Would you want your partner laughing at the shape of your breasts, or saying “ew, I don’t know if I want to touch those” about your labia? Probably not. Don’t make a joke if your partner wants their balls stimulated, and don’t make any comments about how they look. Soon enough you’ll learn to appreciate the unique charm of testicles!
Do: Experiment With Your Technique
Every testicle is different, so it’s worth playing around to find out what your partner likes! Here are some ideas to try:
- Cup both of their testicles in one of your hands.
- Gently caress their testicles with your fingertips or your palms.
- Play with each testicle individually.
- Gently pull down on their entire sack. (The key word here is gently!)
- Put lube on the testicles and explore how that changes the sensation.
Don’t: Be Too Rough
You’re right that the testicles can be pretty sensitive. Many people have had experiences of being accidentally hit or kicked in the balls, so there’s an added layer of fear anytime someone comes near them. Be gentle with the family jewels, especially during your first explorations.
If you’re really worried, ask your partner to show you how much pressure you can use before it starts feeling uncomfortable. Wrap your hand around their testicles, and ask them to put their hand on top of yours. They can squeeze or tug to show you what level of stimulation feels good, and can tell you when it starts to feel too intense.
Do: Pair Ball Play With Other Activities
A lot of people love having their penises and balls stimulated at the same time. I mean, why not; it’s double the fun. Try giving your partner a hand job with one hand while you play with their testicles with the other. Or suck on their balls while you stroke their shaft with your hand. You can also try caressing their balls with your hand while you give them a blow job. The options are nearly endless!
Don’t: Be Too Gentle
On the other hand, testicles can be a bit ticklish if you touch them too softly. Try cupping their balls or rubbing them with the palm of your hand at first. Your fingertips are more likely to create a tickling sensation, especially if you’re nervous, but your palm will be more sturdy.
Do: Turn To Them To Slow Things Down
If your partner tends to orgasm on the faster side, you can take breaks from hand jobs, blow jobs, penetrative sex, or any combination you're working with to play with their balls. It will still feel pleasurable, but not with the same kind of intensity that propels people towards orgasm. This can also be a great strategy during foreplay to tease your partner until you have them begging you for more.
Don’t: Get It Twisted
Despite appearances, testicles don't float freely inside the scrotum. Don’t try to move your partner's balls around in their scrotum too much. You can play with them individually, but the lefty needs to stay on the left, and the righty needs to stay on the right. Too much twisting can cause a lot of pain.
Do: Pay Particular Attention To The Seam
The area between someone's two testicles (sometimes referred to as the “seam”) can be especially sensitive. Put your thumb on the side of their scrotum facing you, and your pointer finger on the side facing towards their back. Very gently hold the skin between your fingers, and slide your fingers down the length of the sack. Let go and start over from the top. You can also stroke the seam with your tongue.
Do: Use Your Mouth
Your tongue and mouth can create some amazing sensation on your partner's testicles. Try out some of the following techniques:
- Lick their testicles. Play around with keeping your tongue wide and flat versus more pointy.
- Try replicating a figure-eight motion around their sack.
- Trace your tongue from the back of his scrotum, along the seam to the front.
- Hold their testicles in your mouth and swirl your tongue around them.
Do: Ask What They Like
Your partner is the expert on their own balls. Ask them if they plays with their balls when they masturbate, and have them show you their techniques. Or try out some of the ideas mentioned above, and ask them which ones they likes best.
The most important thing to remember, though, is to have fun exploring. Creating intimacy between you and your partner is all about discovering each other, and each other's bodies, in gentle, nonjudgmental ways. Bringing your partner's testicles to the party is just another way to enjoy each other's company.
This post was originally published on March 2, 2016. It was updated on August 27, 2019