While friends with benefits arrangements are common, especially among the Millennial generation, it doesn’t mean it’s the best fit for everyone who's single. In theory, it sounds like a great idea — a brilliant idea, to be exact. Who doesn't want a no-strings-attached sexual relationship with someone whom they regard as a close friend? It seems like a win-win, right?
According to a 2014 study, 60 percent of college students have had a friends with benefits relationship at least once. In a society where labeling our relationships has become less important having yourself a FWB seems like your best bet. You get the physical and friendship part that comes with a relationship, without all the commitment and obligation. It’s basically like hitting the jackpot.
But when you try to implement it, things get a little tricky. Even the strongest friendships can have a hard time in the murky water of friends with benefits, because whether we care to admit to it or not, sex can change things; sex can actually change everything. And, with every fun truth that comes with having a friend with benefits, comes an equally hard truth. So before you start giving your BFF the eye at the end of the night, take these eight truths into consideration. But first, check out our video on sex positions for small penises:
1. Fun Truth: NSA Sex
Woohoo! Who doesn’t love sex that has zero emotional attachments?! You can have a good time, leave right afterward, and not feel obligated to text the next day. It’s as close to sexual perfection as one can get; one that’s not looking for love that is.
2. Hard Truth: Having Feelings Is A Major Risk
According to a 2009 study, the number one concern for friends with benefits is that they’ll develop feelings. In fact, of all the concerns that come with having a FWB, at 65 percent, the development of feelings is the biggest disadvantage of all.
3. Fun Truth: It’s Really Convenient
So, you’re sitting around with your FWB and you’re not really sure what to do. Maybe go to the movies? Order some pizza? Go out for drink? Oh wait – you have a brilliant idea: Let’s have sex.
4. Hard Truth: It’s Not Without Jealousy
When you have a FWB, that means that while they are having sex with you, they aren’t dating you. So, since that’s the case, they’re free to date whomever they want. What this can lead to you is wanting to hang out with your FWB either to just watch TV or to have sex, and if you find out they're out on a date, jealousy ensues. Even if you’re not romantically inclined toward them, it’s hard not to be jealous when someone else is spending time with your buddy.
5. Fun Truth: Making Rules That Keep Everyone Happy
If you lay down the law early on, then you leave little room
or feelings and jealousy. It’s important to know where you each stand, and
coming up with the rules with protect you both.
6. Hard Truth: Very Few People Set Up Rules
I’ve yet to meet anyone who’s ever entered into a friends with benefits relationship with a set of ground rules about how to behave, what’s off limits, what the expectations are, or any of the essentials that should come with such a relationship. In fact, the 2009 study said that 73.3 percent of people in FWBs had never once negotiated rules for the relationship.
7. Fun Truth: A Lot Of Friendships Can Survive A Friends With Benefits Phase
A 2015 study examined the relationships for 191 people in friends with benefits relationships. A year later, they examined those relationships again. What they found was that 28 percent had gone back to being strictly just friends, 26 percent were still doing the FWB thing, and 31 percent parted ways, without any sort of friendship remaining.
8. Hard Truth: People Rarely End Up With Their FWB
So how do FWBs end? Only 15 percent of those in friends with benefits relationships evolve into a romantic relationship, which is pretty depressing if you were looking for something more. Those who initially expressed they wanted to make their FWB their romantic partner eventually were the ones who were the most disappointed, whereas the other groups with hopes not so high, ended up being satisfied with where they were a year later.
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (8)