How To Predict This Season Of 'The Bachelorette'

Hey, you're all like me and turn literally every event into an opportunity to place bets and compete with your friends, right? Great, then I think you're really gonna love these tips on how to win your Bachelorette bracket. If you read that last sentence and thought to yourself, "wait, a Bachelorette bracket? I've never even considered such a thing," then welcome to the big leagues, you amateur. Just because there aren't, like, set brackets for The Bachelorette like there are for, say, March Madness doesn't mean you can't make your own. All you need to do is make predictions about which of JoJo Fletcher's gentlemen callers stick around the longest, and make up your own game to reward shrewd guessing.

Maybe you want to predict the call-out order, maybe you want to try to peg who will use the phrase "for the right reasons" in any given episode, refine your guesses each week to take stabs at who goes and who stays, or maybe you want to just straight up predict the top three on day one and bet the whole farm on them. Regardless, there are plenty of ways to give yourself a little edge if need be.

Climb aboard the advantage wagon, because I'm gonna teach you how to get ahead in this world with tips and tricks that are sure to have you leading your Bachelorette bracket. Remember: We aren't here to make friends.

1. Pay Attention To Screen Time

There are some exceptions to this rule — like Catherine Giudici in Sean Lowe's season, who was decidedly underrepresented in the early footage, but went on to win the whole thing — but, for the most part, the producers give us a lot of face time with the contestants who will be going the distance. It's pretty unsatisfying to get to the end and not like, or worse not know, the people who have gotten that far. So anyone who's getting substantially more coverage than someone else, even if it isn't face-to-face interactions with JoJo herself is someone to watch. Someone they cut to a lot in the interviews to get their takes on situations is usually a good bet.

2. Watch Out For Who JoJo Calls Last

I've noticed in my own viewings that, when a front runner is getting a little too far out in front and it's starting to seem like we have a clear winner on our hands, mysteriously, the next week they get called last, after being called first or second for multiple weeks. If I had to guess, I'd say the order upset comes at producers' urging, to build suspense and keep us guessing after early chemistry becomes too obvious. Remember when Ben called Lauren B. last all of a sudden and everyone was "LOL, OK, send her home, you won't?" Nice try, producers.

3. Take Chris Harrison's Hints

I don't know if you know this, but every season, Chris Harrison chooses a select number of contestants to discuss before the first episode airs. And, since he's obviously seen the entire arc of the show and knows who wins, you can bet he doesn't dish the dirt on anybody who goes home super early. What would be the fun in that? This year, it's Luke, Jordan, Grant, Evan, and Chad. Worth checking out.

4. Don't Count Out The Villain

The villain is a crucial part of every season, so, even when they're universally despised by everyone in the house, and it seems obvious they'll be going home the next Rose Ceremony for sure, he or she typically has another few episodes before they kick rocks. You go to all that trouble to create a character that everybody loves to hate, so you want to keep them in the game just long enough to create tension and drama, but not so long that we start to question the Bachelorette's judgement. This year, the villain appears to be Chad Johnson, so he'll likely stay in longer than you think, but won't break the top four. Olivia Caridi ended up going home in Episode 6 of Ben Higgins' season, which feels about right, timing-wise.

5. Keep An Eye On The Friend Zone

Finally, keep your ears peeled for someone who starts out doing well, and makes it all the way to the top four or even beyond, but is suddenly being labeled with really platonic words. In my experience, that's how the producers get us primed to accept that person as the next Bachelor or Bachelorette. We saw it happen with JoJo herself, whom Ben labeled "his best friend" before sending her home. And I suspect we'll see it again, because it's a great way to get the audience sympathetic toward the new person without having them be too romantically entangled with the current one. So, if you start catching those friend vibes from JoJo late in the season, do yourself a favor and predict that person as the next Bachelor before your friends beat you to it.

And this, my little babies, is all I can teach you. The rest has to come from you. Just know that the ability to win your Bachelorette bracket and embarrass all your friends has been inside you all along.

Images: ABC; Giphy (5)