How To Figure Out If You're With A Long-Term SO

You've been dating your partner for a while, and everything is going swimmingly. So swimmingly, in fact, that you've started wondering if this person is your soulmate. Yes, you love them dearly. But how are you to know — like, really, really know — that this person is for you?

Well, it can help to think back to some life-changing moments you've had as a couple. Go ahead and recall all those tough times you've weathered together (think illnesses, big moves, job changes). Were things out-of-control rocky, almost to the point it upended the relationship? Or did you sail on through the upheaval with the greatest of ease? If you answered with the latter, then that's a really good sign this person is soulmate material.

Of course every couple has their ups and downs, and navigating through sh*tty experiences doesn't always go off without a hitch. But it's a really good sign if you can get through them together. After all, true soulmates deal with whatever life throws their way — whether it's for better or worse. If you haven't yet had the chance test the proverbial relationship waters, then here are some things you can do with you partner to figure out if they're your soulmate.

1. Go On A Vacation

If you've ever traveled with your partner, then you already know how eye-opening it can be. Here are the two of you in a foreign land, navigating all sorts of new foods, people, and experiences. The whole thing can be one giant test of your coupledom — especially when it comes to coping with travel stress. "It can be a huge red flag if [they] immediately freak out or shut down the minute something goes wrong," said Gigi Engle on But if you both handle it with aplomb, you may have found your soulmate.

2. Move In Together

You definitely shouldn't move in together just to "test out" a relationship, according to Rebecca Adams on This can lead to all sorts of problems when you realize the relationship needs to end. If you already feel super committed, however, moving in together offers the chance to see each other's daily habits. If you like what you see, then you've got yourself a keeper.

3. Meet Each Other's Parents

Of course you can have a perfectly happy relationship, sans the opinion of mom and dad. But some parental approval can be a good sign of positive things to come. "How favorably your girlfriend or boyfriend’s family evaluates you ... matters not only for the ease of future family get-togethers, but also for the well-being of your own relationship," said Theresa E. DiDonato on Psychology Today. Here's hoping that nerve-racking dinner goes well.

4. Adopt A Pet

You shouldn't adopt a cat or a dog until you're both ready to be good "parents." But as soon as you're both on board, adopting a pet can be a good way to test your compatibility. "Taking care of an animal is a good way to gauge how well you work as a team and to find out what makes your partner tick," said Christina Heiser on Women's Health. "It might even be something that helps you decide if you want to take the next serious step in your relationship."

5. Hang Out With Someone's Kid

If the pet option isn't on the table, consider testing the waters with someone else's cat or dog. Or, take it to the next level and hang out with a friend's kid. If you melt at the sight of your SO holding a baby, that could be a pretty good sign.

6. Deal With A Problem

I think dealing with travel stress if a huge indicator of soulmatey-ness. But so are the everyday stresses of life. Whether that's moving to a new apartment, dealing with a health scare, or helping each other out financially, how you cope through it all can be a huge test of compatibility.

7. Get Into An Argument

OK, so don't pick an argument just for experiment's sake. But do take notice the next time you guys bicker. Is it a total mess, or is it rational and cool? If you both can manage disagreements rationally, and without name-calling or blaming, then it's a pretty good sign you're a good match, according to Elliot D. Cohen, Ph.D., on Psychology Today.

8. Have Lots Of Sex

The only way to know if you're sexually compatible is to get down to it. But apart from whether or not it's fun and fulfilling, you should also test to see how comfortable you feel, according to Kate Bailey on Can you say what you like and don't like? Does your partner listen? If so, these are all good signs.

9. Hang Out With Other Couples

Here's a fun test: go on a date with another couple, and see how you feel. Research has shown that going on a couple date can make you feel more attracted to your SO, according to Katie Parsons on In other words, it's a good sign if you leave the evening brimming with love for your partner.

10. Tell Them Some Secrets

If you're comfortable sharing your deepest and darkest with your SO, then go ahead and do it. After all, if this person is going to be a major part of your life, then being open is super important — as is their reaction. Are they helpful and sweet, or weirded out and judge-y? Take their reaction as a major hint.

11. Talk About The Future

Talking about the future — marriage, kids, etc. — can be a good way to gauge whether this person is your soulmate. Just be sure to wait at least two years before having such a serious chat. Research shows that couples are in utter bliss for the first two years, so opinions may be skewed, according to Locke Hughes on Shape. If you two are still excited about the future after that time period, it could be you've found "the one."

Of course, the idea of soulmates is totally subjective. If you feel comfortable and happy around your partner, then that's really all the evidence you need.

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